Dealing with Depression when it's the caregiver that is depressed.
I suck at this. Seriously, I do. It's why I dropped out of nursing school. It's why I didn't want to have children. It's why I don't have friends. It's why I loathe having pets.
I suck at relationships on the very best of days.
But here's a fact.
I love my husband. I love him so much it hurts. I love my kids and my pets, and all the old people I took care of. I cry when anyone hurts or a pet dies or hell, if this evil ass squirrels get run over.
But I don't want to live. I'm done. I'm tired and life is too hard and too sad.
No, I AM NOT SUICIDAL. I just wouldn't mind if I simply didn't wake up tomorrow. I have an appointment to go to the doctor next week, my mom thinks my hormones are wacky.
Every day, getting out of bed gets harder. I have to seriously talk myself into it. I have no reason to be depressed!
Danny is doing wonderfully, Kaitlyn got accepted to a great University. Michael told me he was praying last night. Dad is doing great, and mom is doing really well.
So why the hell I am depressed? It just doesn't make sense to me. How do I cope with it, fight it, overcome it this time? I have suffered some form of depression most of my adult life.
But this is beginning to feel like when I had a nervous breakdown, and I don't have the time or money to do that now. I'm just so blue, and crying constantly, and don't know why.
How do you take care of yourself (Rather you are the TBI patient or the caregiver) how do you fight the blues?