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Dealing with Depression when it's the caregiver that is depressed.

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:05 AM
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I suck at this. Seriously, I do. It's why I dropped out of nursing school. It's why I didn't want to have children. It's why I don't have friends. It's why I loathe having pets.

I suck at relationships on the very best of days.

But here's a fact.

I love my husband. I love him so much it hurts. I love my kids and my pets, and all the old people I took care of. I cry when anyone hurts or a pet dies or hell, if this evil ass squirrels get run over. 

But I don't want to live. I'm done. I'm tired and life is too hard and too sad.

No, I AM NOT SUICIDAL. I just wouldn't mind if I simply didn't wake up tomorrow. I have an appointment to go to the doctor next week, my mom thinks my hormones are wacky. 

Every day, getting out of bed gets harder. I have to seriously talk myself into it. I have no reason to be depressed! 

Danny is doing wonderfully, Kaitlyn got accepted to a great University. Michael told me he was praying last night. Dad is doing great, and mom is doing really well.

So why the hell I am depressed? It just doesn't make sense to me. How do I cope with it, fight it, overcome it this time? I have suffered some form of depression most of my adult life. 

But this is beginning to feel like when I had a nervous breakdown, and I don't have the time or money to do that now. I'm just so blue, and crying constantly, and don't know why. 

How do you take care of yourself (Rather you are the TBI patient or the caregiver) how do you fight the blues?

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:05 AM
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Replies (1-2):
willysmama
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:05 AM

That is a tough one. I went 2 years feeling like that. My hormones were out of whack and i was grieving for the child i had potential lost. Willy was born healthy and than stopped breathing at  4.5 months old. I blamed myself. Dealing with all the doctors appointments and therapists coming to the house. Than hurricane Katrina hit and i had to deal with insurance and clean up. I couldn't handle it. I talked to a shrink and let all my feeling out and started to feel better. I was on antidepressants for a while.

Now when i am overloaded and feel like i dont want to get out of bed, I force myself to get out, take willy to school, come home and have a warm relaxing bath, and do something that makes me happy. Or i get on here and vent into one of the groups i belong in.

feralxat
by Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 10:06 AM

I take meds. Drink too much and smoke too many cigarettes.
I swallow a lot. Keep it inside and just keep plugging along.

It's easier than telling SO what is actually going on- what is bothering me. Because Gosh darnnit, the minute I do it becomes all about him and everything he has been holding back.

I know I feel worse if I miss a dose. Missed a few last week and felt blah for days.

Hope the doc has some suggestions. GL

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