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Sometimes I dont think I can handle this

Posted by on Aug. 2, 2012 at 6:23 PM
  • 11 Replies
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*Backstory* my husband has frontal lobe damage from a carbon monoxide accident.  He cannot think before he says or acts.  He does not have that capacity after the accident.  

I dont even know what pissed him off today, but something did.  He made the kids lunch and I didnt want to shower with him before he ran his sister to the airport, honestly I had a migraine and was waiting for the excedrine to kick in.  Well he said "there is a ton of shit you do or dont do that annoys me.."

Silly me, I told him to tell me what.  I should have shut my mouth and left it alone.

Instead he listed it all off...and then told me I was the most selfish, lazy person he knows.  

And I burst into tears and told him he is right.  I am selfish.  I have always felt selfish about turning my step dad in for raping me and tearing apart my family.  I told him that was his first sign I was selfish and if after 8 years he didnt know that, then he was fucking blind.

He said that wasnt what he meant, and I told him to get the hell out.  He left to go take his sister so she didnt miss her flight.

Hes been gone an hour and I have been cleaning and crying the time.  I AM lazy lately.  I am depressed and can barely pull myself out of bed.  I am such a failure at everything I do.

by on Aug. 2, 2012 at 6:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Josie.Grossie
by on Aug. 2, 2012 at 6:26 PM
I am so sorry :( many moms get depressed like that. Maybe you should try getting a self help book or planning something you need to do every day to start getting going.
*hugs*
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college.mom
by on Aug. 2, 2012 at 6:35 PM
Usually I have a routine. I fell off my routine and I fell into the stupid depression hole.

Quoting Josie.Grossie:

I am so sorry :( many moms get depressed like that. Maybe you should try getting a self help book or planning something you need to do every day to start getting going.

*hugs*
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bmw29
by Spitfire_Bobbie on Aug. 2, 2012 at 6:36 PM
1 mom liked this
You shouldn't feel selfish for turning in your SD. He deserved to he turned in. *hugs*
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college.mom
by on Aug. 2, 2012 at 6:38 PM
I have such conflicted feelings with that situation. I've been in therapy for years and i feel like i'm not making any progress

Quoting bmw29:

You shouldn't feel selfish for turning in your SD. He deserved to he turned in. *hugs*
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Sassy762
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Darlin...........Listen

First of all ....your DH didn't mean that ,the way it came out and I think you know that...right? He is probably a little stressed/nervous with his college courses and all that entails.

YOU have no reason what so ever to feel guilty about turning in that "POS thing" your mom married for what he did to you. I think the POS should have been castrated and be ButtF*ckathoned every night for the rest of his miserable existence.

YOU are NOT a Failure at anything  YOU do....Look at what you have accomplished so far...........Seriously

Don't make me go Font 7 on your behind.......

taKENheart
by Heatherly on Aug. 3, 2012 at 12:11 PM

 You have nothing to feel selfish about. Hugs!
You are definitely not a failure so I hope you can get that out of your head.
hugs

college.mom
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:42 PM

Thank you.

I do know he did not mean what he said.  He is really stressed about everything and scare and nervous and I know this.  I guess when he says bad things about me, my insecurities jump out and beat me down even more.

Apparently he talked to his counselor about it last night.  His counselor suggested we read the 5 love languages.  So last night I bought that book and I guess we will try it.

I feel like if 90 percent of marriages worked through the problems that we have had to try to overcome they would have fallen apart...and honestly...some days divorce sounds SO easy and I want that break.  I love my husband too much to do that though.

Quoting Sassy762:

Darlin...........Listen

First of all ....your DH didn't mean that ,the way it came out and I think you know that...right? He is probably a little stressed/nervous with his college courses and all that entails.

YOU have no reason what so ever to feel guilty about turning in that "POS thing" your mom married for what he did to you. I think the POS should have been castrated and be ButtF*ckathoned every night for the rest of his miserable existence.

YOU are NOT a Failure at anything  YOU do....Look at what you have accomplished so far...........Seriously

Don't make me go Font 7 on your behind.......


                                                        

college.mom
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:45 PM

Thank you.  Honestly its so much easier to build up someones self esteem from the day they are born than it is to rebuild it after a childhood of hearing bad things.

Quoting taKENheart:

 You have nothing to feel selfish about. Hugs!
You are definitely not a failure so I hope you can get that out of your head.
hugs


                                                        

MommyAJ2921
by Acquaintance on Aug. 4, 2012 at 12:54 AM

Excellent idea on the book. The ex and I did it..things still didn't work out but at least I come away knowing I tried my absolute best. Praying for you sweetie. You're an absolute doll. hugs

Quoting college.mom:

Thank you.

I do know he did not mean what he said.  He is really stressed about everything and scare and nervous and I know this.  I guess when he says bad things about me, my insecurities jump out and beat me down even more.

Apparently he talked to his counselor about it last night.  His counselor suggested we read the 5 love languages.  So last night I bought that book and I guess we will try it.

I feel like if 90 percent of marriages worked through the problems that we have had to try to overcome they would have fallen apart...and honestly...some days divorce sounds SO easy and I want that break.  I love my husband too much to do that though.

Quoting Sassy762:

Darlin...........Listen

First of all ....your DH didn't mean that ,the way it came out and I think you know that...right? He is probably a little stressed/nervous with his college courses and all that entails.

YOU have no reason what so ever to feel guilty about turning in that "POS thing" your mom married for what he did to you. I think the POS should have been castrated and be ButtF*ckathoned every night for the rest of his miserable existence.

YOU are NOT a Failure at anything  YOU do....Look at what you have accomplished so far...........Seriously

Don't make me go Font 7 on your behind.......



college.mom
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 1:14 AM

Thank you.  We have been through everything.  We even did a seperation, but then we worked it out.  A lot of it is his medical/brain issues.  It sucks.  I know we can never fix it, but we can learn to live with it happily.

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

Excellent idea on the book. The ex and I did it..things still didn't work out but at least I come away knowing I tried my absolute best. Praying for you sweetie. You're an absolute doll. hugs

Quoting college.mom:

Thank you.

I do know he did not mean what he said.  He is really stressed about everything and scare and nervous and I know this.  I guess when he says bad things about me, my insecurities jump out and beat me down even more.

Apparently he talked to his counselor about it last night.  His counselor suggested we read the 5 love languages.  So last night I bought that book and I guess we will try it.

I feel like if 90 percent of marriages worked through the problems that we have had to try to overcome they would have fallen apart...and honestly...some days divorce sounds SO easy and I want that break.  I love my husband too much to do that though.

Quoting Sassy762:

Darlin...........Listen

First of all ....your DH didn't mean that ,the way it came out and I think you know that...right? He is probably a little stressed/nervous with his college courses and all that entails.

YOU have no reason what so ever to feel guilty about turning in that "POS thing" your mom married for what he did to you. I think the POS should have been castrated and be ButtF*ckathoned every night for the rest of his miserable existence.

YOU are NOT a Failure at anything  YOU do....Look at what you have accomplished so far...........Seriously

Don't make me go Font 7 on your behind.......




                                                        

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