Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Countdown is ON!..UPDATE: FREEDOM, SWEET F R E E D O M!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 11:55 PM
  • 19 Replies
  • 452 Total Views
2 moms liked this

Ok Family,

It's 11:48pm EST and the countdown is in FULL effect. At 9:30am EST I'll be in a court room in front of a judge finalizing my divorce. I'm ready for this part of my life to be over. I'm already moving on as is he..he's no longer part of my daily equation..my thoughts or the like...he doesn't get much brain time either...I'm working on getting me back...changed up my hair...even have a cute outfit picked out for court. LOL...Derrick and I are still friends..(stop smilin so hard Heather LOLOLOLOL)..and that's fine with me.

I feel freer than I have in a long time..have a slight case of nerves but it will pass. I want to take a moment and thank you all for the love, encouragement and words of support. You Ladies have NO idea how much its meant to me these last few months to know even though I can't "see" your faces I'm not alone.

Thank you.

Hugs & Love,

AJ

Will let you know how it goes when I get home. :)

*******************UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*****************************

Family! Greetings!!

Its official! I'm S I N G L E!!!! The divorce was FINALIZED @ 10:57am!!!!! I can officially call him my EX-husband. I got to court checked in (after spending like 20 mins goin thru security WOW..) and waited...the judge said we'd be on the docket first but you know its court and stuff happens...she didn't appear until almost 10 and there were 2 cases ahead of us. 

The clerk called the judge in chambers and said in regards to my case that I was there but he wasn't. She asked the judge what she wanted to do, listened to the response and hung up. I wondered what would happen...so finally my case is called and right off the bat the FIRST thing the judge does is APOLOGIZE for the mistake she made back on sept 12th. She asked me if I'd been in contact with the ex...I said I had (remember I send him weekly updates) and he'd responded with "one last time...are you SURE you want to be divorced?" so he was WELL AWARE we were to appear in court.

Judge decides she wants to give him a bit more time so she says she'll give him another 15mins an re-call our case. So I sit and I wait...I sit and I wait. Finally I'm called back up...this time the Judge swore me in and asked me a bunch of questions...afterward she states that she finds I have just cause and that the legal requirement for the divorce has been met (in dc you have to be separated for 6 months before you can file for divorce) and that she hereby "enlarges your separation into an absolute divorce". She asked me about my right to appeal which I waived, and then she said I'd receive my final decree in a few days. She said the ex will receive his as well. She thanked me for being so patient and said I was done.

I held my composure til I got outside in the lobby..then I had a mini praise break. 

It's over, its DONE. I'm F R E E. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!! I left the court house and what greeted me outside??? BLUE SKIES AND SUNSHINE! Can you believe it????? Now I just wait for the final decree to come in the mail. :D 

YAY!!!!!!!!!! As always thank you so much for the love and support!!!

Hugs & Love,

AJ (and yeah I JUST changed my FB status!!! LOLOLOL).. 


by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 11:55 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
taKENheart
by Heatherly on Nov. 13, 2012 at 12:05 AM
1 mom liked this

 LOL I got a mention :) in the post! It's after the Derrick mention, lol!!! I did want to push you onto his lap, didn't I? LOL!!!
I wish you all the luck and good wishes that I can squeeze out of my body. I know you were determined and wanted to get this done...always had a great attitude about it even when you wanted to cry out loud :( You can do this and get it done...I'll be thinking about you and gurl, you know I'm with you! When you are sitting there be sure to know that we are all there with you and totally supporting you.  You are our AJ and we love you!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Hugs and love to our Ms.AJ!

MommyAJ2921
by Acquaintance on Nov. 13, 2012 at 12:07 AM
1 mom liked this

You are sooooo gonna make me cry! Cut that out...thanks!!!! 

By the way..about Derrick...gotta tell you about the last convo we had...so I called him like 2 saturdays ago..he was out with his friend (yeah a woman) at a car dealership. She was buying a car...ok cool. His dd wants to know who he's talking to on the phone and when he tells her its me she's like "OH OH wanna talk to her!!! PLEASEEEE"..LOL..we talked for 15 minutes..then she got bored..so Derrick gets back on the phone and we're talkin and it comes out that he had a date...with someone else. K..so it deflated me a LITTLE BIT. 

Here's how the convo went after that:...

D: "You ok?"

Me: "Yeah I'm fine."

D: "You sure?"

Me: "Yeah, why?"

D: "You sound..I don't know..different after I mentioned having a date...not sure now if it was a good idea to say anything."

Me: "You know..we kinda were LBS (laughin but serious) when talkin about our status...so here it is from me no jokes...I'm almost single...not really ready to be in a relationship...but freely admit that I like you..unlike dd's godmother and your other friend, I kinda think I'm better at articulating or not how I feel. I freely admit hearing you had a date made me feel some kind of way BUT understand something...I've got NO claim to you whatsoever...we're friends..nothing more, nothing less...so please don't allow yourself to not have a good time because of me. HOWEVER, if anything I've said keeps you from doin summin you know you shouldn't do (ie have sex with ur date) by all means...GO JESUS!!!" (ok so by now we're laughin..having fun on the phone..)

D: "I don't want to hurt you...."

Me: "You won't...at this point what you need to do is self-assess...we're friends..go me..now YOU sir need to figure out if I'm just a friend or am I a friend but there's the potential for something more...only you can decide that. If it turns out that I'm just friend material that's cool..but if you feel like there's something more there that's cool too. One thing I won't budge on is what I said in regards to sex..I will NOT do anything or put myself in a position where I'm tempted to do anything. I want to be a wife again before I go there. You mentioned you were doing the friends with benefits thing. If my stance on sex takes me out of the running so be it...you're cute but not THAT cute (he CRACKED UP laughin)...I won't lose any sleep over it."

D: "That's one of the reasons I like talkin to you...you're honest. I do need to figure all this out..didn't see this comin...not sure what's gonna happen but I'd definitely like to find out if you're game. No rush, no pressure..one day at a time."

Me: "K..."

D: "So. What's your ideal first date?"

Me: "11am service at my church." (Gotta tell you..the last guy I said this to NEVER called me back..lol)

D: "Ok..just let me know when..."

We talked for a few more minutes then he had to hang up. Found out a few days later he never went out on the date...seems he didn't feel "comfortable" with her for some reason (how you like DEM apples?!?!?!?). LOL...now what's your take on the convo???
 

Quoting taKENheart:

 LOL I got a mention :) in the post! It's after the Derrick mention, lol!!! I did want to push you onto his lap, didn't I? LOL!!!
I wish you all the luck and good wishes that I can squeeze out of my body. I know you were determined and wanted to get this done...always had a great attitude about it even when you wanted to cry out loud :( You can do this and get it done...I'll be thinking about you and gurl, you know I'm with you! When you are sitting there be sure to know that we are all there with you and totally supporting you.  You are our AJ and we love you!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Hugs and love to our Ms.AJ!


taKENheart
by Heatherly on Nov. 13, 2012 at 12:09 AM

 I'm just speaking from my heart and showing our girl some love!
Hugs to our always sweet AJ!!!

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

You are sooooo gonna make me cry! Cut that out...thanks!!!! 

Quoting taKENheart:

 LOL I got a mention :) in the post! It's after the Derrick mention, lol!!! I did want to push you onto his lap, didn't I? LOL!!!
I wish you all the luck and good wishes that I can squeeze out of my body. I know you were determined and wanted to get this done...always had a great attitude about it even when you wanted to cry out loud :( You can do this and get it done...I'll be thinking about you and gurl, you know I'm with you! When you are sitting there be sure to know that we are all there with you and totally supporting you.  You are our AJ and we love you!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Hugs and love to our Ms.AJ!

 

 

jamielynnef2
by Butterfly Mahi on Nov. 13, 2012 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Hey mama!!! Check you out gettin a new style ;-) let him eat his heart out ;-) you got this mama! And when you start getting nervous, just picture all of us sitting there behind ya ready to pop open the bubbly and give you hugs!!!! I know it must not be easy, but you have been strong and now you can finally close this chapter of your life and be ready for the new adventures of AJ and crew :-) sending positive thoughts and lots of love to ya mama!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MommyAJ2921
by Acquaintance on Nov. 13, 2012 at 12:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Awwwwww hugs

Quoting taKENheart:

 I'm just speaking from my heart and showing our girl some love!
Hugs to our always sweet AJ!!!

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

You are sooooo gonna make me cry! Cut that out...thanks!!!! 

Quoting taKENheart:

 LOL I got a mention :) in the post! It's after the Derrick mention, lol!!! I did want to push you onto his lap, didn't I? LOL!!!
I wish you all the luck and good wishes that I can squeeze out of my body. I know you were determined and wanted to get this done...always had a great attitude about it even when you wanted to cry out loud :( You can do this and get it done...I'll be thinking about you and gurl, you know I'm with you! When you are sitting there be sure to know that we are all there with you and totally supporting you.  You are our AJ and we love you!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Hugs and love to our Ms.AJ!


 


MommyAJ2921
by Acquaintance on Nov. 13, 2012 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this

*Gettin teary eyed..* Thanks  Jamie!!!!

Quoting jamielynnef2:

Hey mama!!! Check you out gettin a new style ;-) let him eat his heart out ;-) you got this mama! And when you start getting nervous, just picture all of us sitting there behind ya ready to pop open the bubbly and give you hugs!!!! I know it must not be easy, but you have been strong and now you can finally close this chapter of your life and be ready for the new adventures of AJ and crew :-) sending positive thoughts and lots of love to ya mama!!


taKENheart
by Heatherly on Nov. 13, 2012 at 12:37 AM

 I love "dem apples" LOL! Good for you for sticking to your guns!
I love the way you both were laughing!  GO AJ!

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

You are sooooo gonna make me cry! Cut that out...thanks!!!! 

By the way..about Derrick...gotta tell you about the last convo we had...so I called him like 2 saturdays ago..he was out with his friend (yeah a woman) at a car dealership. She was buying a car...ok cool. His dd wants to know who he's talking to on the phone and when he tells her its me she's like "OH OH wanna talk to her!!! PLEASEEEE"..LOL..we talked for 15 minutes..then she got bored..so Derrick gets back on the phone and we're talkin and it comes out that he had a date...with someone else. K..so it deflated me a LITTLE BIT. 

Here's how the convo went after that:...

D: "You ok?"

Me: "Yeah I'm fine."

D: "You sure?"

Me: "Yeah, why?"

D: "You sound..I don't know..different after I mentioned having a date...not sure now if it was a good idea to say anything."

Me: "You know..we kinda were LBS (laughin but serious) when talkin about our status...so here it is from me no jokes...I'm almost single...not really ready to be in a relationship...but freely admit that I like you..unlike dd's godmother and your other friend, I kinda think I'm better at articulating or not how I feel. I freely admit hearing you had a date made me feel some kind of way BUT understand something...I've got NO claim to you whatsoever...we're friends..nothing more, nothing less...so please don't allow yourself to not have a good time because of me. HOWEVER, if anything I've said keeps you from doin summin you know you shouldn't do (ie have sex with ur date) by all means...GO JESUS!!!" (ok so by now we're laughin..having fun on the phone..)

D: "I don't want to hurt you...."

Me: "You won't...at this point what you need to do is self-assess...we're friends..go me..now YOU sir need to figure out if I'm just a friend or am I a friend but there's the potential for something more...only you can decide that. If it turns out that I'm just friend material that's cool..but if you feel like there's something more there that's cool too. One thing I won't budge on is what I said in regards to sex..I will NOT do anything or put myself in a position where I'm tempted to do anything. I want to be a wife again before I go there. You mentioned you were doing the friends with benefits thing. If my stance on sex takes me out of the running so be it...you're cute but not THAT cute (he CRACKED UP laughin)...I won't lose any sleep over it."

D: "That's one of the reasons I like talkin to you...you're honest. I do need to figure all this out..didn't see this comin...not sure what's gonna happen but I'd definitely like to find out if you're game. No rush, no pressure..one day at a time."

Me: "K..."

D: "So. What's your ideal first date?"

Me: "11am service at my church." (Gotta tell you..the last guy I said this to NEVER called me back..lol)

D: "Ok..just let me know when..."

We talked for a few more minutes then he had to hang up. Found out a few days later he never went out on the date...seems he didn't feel "comfortable" with her for some reason (how you like DEM apples?!?!?!?). LOL...now what's your take on the convo???
 

Quoting taKENheart:
MommyAJ2921
by Acquaintance on Nov. 13, 2012 at 7:16 AM
1 mom liked this

Good morning!!!! My nana used to say that...LOL..EMANCIPATION IS JUST OVER 90 MINUTES AWAY!! YES!!!!!

Quoting taKENheart:

 I love "dem apples" LOL! Good for you for sticking to your guns!
I love the way you both were laughing!  GO AJ!

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

You are sooooo gonna make me cry! Cut that out...thanks!!!! 

By the way..about Derrick...gotta tell you about the last convo we had...so I called him like 2 saturdays ago..he was out with his friend (yeah a woman) at a car dealership. She was buying a car...ok cool. His dd wants to know who he's talking to on the phone and when he tells her its me she's like "OH OH wanna talk to her!!! PLEASEEEE"..LOL..we talked for 15 minutes..then she got bored..so Derrick gets back on the phone and we're talkin and it comes out that he had a date...with someone else. K..so it deflated me a LITTLE BIT. 

Here's how the convo went after that:...

D: "You ok?"

Me: "Yeah I'm fine."

D: "You sure?"

Me: "Yeah, why?"

D: "You sound..I don't know..different after I mentioned having a date...not sure now if it was a good idea to say anything."

Me: "You know..we kinda were LBS (laughin but serious) when talkin about our status...so here it is from me no jokes...I'm almost single...not really ready to be in a relationship...but freely admit that I like you..unlike dd's godmother and your other friend, I kinda think I'm better at articulating or not how I feel. I freely admit hearing you had a date made me feel some kind of way BUT understand something...I've got NO claim to you whatsoever...we're friends..nothing more, nothing less...so please don't allow yourself to not have a good time because of me. HOWEVER, if anything I've said keeps you from doin summin you know you shouldn't do (ie have sex with ur date) by all means...GO JESUS!!!" (ok so by now we're laughin..having fun on the phone..)

D: "I don't want to hurt you...."

Me: "You won't...at this point what you need to do is self-assess...we're friends..go me..now YOU sir need to figure out if I'm just a friend or am I a friend but there's the potential for something more...only you can decide that. If it turns out that I'm just friend material that's cool..but if you feel like there's something more there that's cool too. One thing I won't budge on is what I said in regards to sex..I will NOT do anything or put myself in a position where I'm tempted to do anything. I want to be a wife again before I go there. You mentioned you were doing the friends with benefits thing. If my stance on sex takes me out of the running so be it...you're cute but not THAT cute (he CRACKED UP laughin)...I won't lose any sleep over it."

D: "That's one of the reasons I like talkin to you...you're honest. I do need to figure all this out..didn't see this comin...not sure what's gonna happen but I'd definitely like to find out if you're game. No rush, no pressure..one day at a time."

Me: "K..."

D: "So. What's your ideal first date?"

Me: "11am service at my church." (Gotta tell you..the last guy I said this to NEVER called me back..lol)

D: "Ok..just let me know when..."

We talked for a few more minutes then he had to hang up. Found out a few days later he never went out on the date...seems he didn't feel "comfortable" with her for some reason (how you like DEM apples?!?!?!?). LOL...now what's your take on the convo???
 

Quoting taKENheart:


bmw29
by Spitfire_Bobbie on Nov. 13, 2012 at 9:08 AM
Good luck on the divorce and good luck with the "friend". LOL
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
moosesmom
by Pal on Nov. 13, 2012 at 2:22 PM

Much love and peace on your new journey! I wish nothing but the best for you and yours. It's a big step and the road can be challenging. But of course it's nothing you can't handle! Rock the new look and the new you!!!! 

group hug

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN