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Pennsylvania Moms Pennsylvania Moms

What to do about a neighbor?

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:20 PM
  • 19 Replies
If you had a neighbor living alone (with pets but thats another post) but not able to care for themself...what would you do?
Examples...
Not taking her psychiatric or cardiac meds
Taking to many pain meds and sleeping meds
Confusion over time of day, day of the week, ect
Has fallen multiple times
Not eating regular meals
A weeks worth of dishes piled in her sink again
Not showering or changing clothing
So much more.

Other facts (although there is so much more)
She does have family who says they will help but they havent. They did bring her home to her empty house from the hospital when I was away 2 weekends ago, but didn't take her prescriptions to the pharmacy or anything.
Family is in denial or unaware? If that is possible. Son refuses my phone calls and i don't know what she is telling them...

Idk, there is so much more, but I don't know what to do. I can't be her fulltime caregiver as I have my family to take care of. I was taking her to all appointments, talki g to her docs, scheduling appts & overall trying to get her help. I have now set limits, & she says her son will help during set times but it isnt happening. She missed getting her blood thinner levels checked last week, an orthopedic appt and a psych appt this week. They were supposed to be taking her for an mri tomorrow but apparently they cant do that now either. I'm no longer recording her appts, so she doesn't know when most are. She apparently told the person that called to come evaluate her for some kind of in hone care that someone else was coming.
Im afraid for her...and on top of it all, she may be evicted from her home next week because she doesnt have a lease (mobile home she inherited from her father but doesnt qualify for the community lease) & is behind on the rent. I feel like she is slipping throigh every crack, & i am out of ideas with family not stepping up but i cant just let her rot on her own either.
What would you do??.
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by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bethany0417
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this
Make a report to Adult Protective Services. They should be able to help. Good for you for caring about her. :)
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heatherh610
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:27 PM
Btw I do feed her dinner nightly and continue to set up her weekly meds and take her to the store and such...
I have helped her apply for lanta metro service to get to appointments...we are Awaiting a response.
And I will be taking her for her mri tomoorow and her bloodwork (because I am a sucker). She should reslly be in assisted living imo but don't know how to get her to that without her family stepping up...
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steelcrazy
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:32 PM

Your county should have an agency on the elderly/aging, they would be able to offer her some assistance and even help set up some services for her.  Around here, elderly who live alone don't leave the hospital without talking with a social worker first to be sure that their needs are being met at home.

heatherh610
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:33 PM
That would be the Area Agency on Aging I believe? They told me a report had to come through her doc becsuse of her age....perhsps I will call her doc sgain tomorrow. They were going to file a report before but then she was hospitalized...and released. Thank you.


Quoting bethany0417:

Make a report to Adult Protective Services. They should be able to help. Good for you for caring about her. :)

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heatherh610
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:35 PM
Sadly, she is only 52 so they refer her but she has to follow through....thanks fir the info.


Quoting steelcrazy:

Your county should have an agency on the elderly/aging, they would be able to offer her some assistance and even help set up some services for her.  Around here, elderly who live alone don't leave the hospital without talking with a social worker first to be sure that their needs are being met at home.


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2Xkids
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:38 PM
Sometimes assisted living facilities can help, or at least evaluate and make a recommendation. If no one has power of attorney then she could basically sign herself in with doctor approval. If she needs that much help call a few places, tour them with her and see what happens.

Another option might be a retirement community. She would have an apartment but trained staff would help take care of her AND set up appointments AND provide transportation.
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steelcrazy
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:38 PM

That is awfully young and probably harder to get assistance for without the family's support.  You would most likely have to be able to prove abuse or neglect for anything to happen.

Quoting heatherh610:

Sadly, she is only 52 so they refer her but she has to follow through....thanks fir the info.


Quoting steelcrazy:

Your county should have an agency on the elderly/aging, they would be able to offer her some assistance and even help set up some services for her.  Around here, elderly who live alone don't leave the hospital without talking with a social worker first to be sure that their needs are being met at home.



vallhk
by vals6pack on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:56 PM

call senior services make an anonymous complaint, they'll get involved and either place her or get her the help she needs so she can stay home

courtneyann29
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:44 AM

Wow..what a rough situation.  It almost sounds like you've described a situation my mom is going through.  Except it's my grandma and my mom IS taking care of her.  There are 2 other siblings who won't/can't help out, and my poor mom is exhausted by the whole situation.  My mom has even hired a nurse to come to my gma's house while she's not there, but my gma doesn't like her. lol  The dr's aren't helping at all.

I don't know what to say about your situation.  It's very nice that you care and are willing to help out at all.  I agree with the other ladies saying it needs to be reported, but I don't know who it would be reported to.  Maybe you could talk to her dr?  I don't even know if he would talk to you though.  Good luck! 

TerriC
by Terri on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:09 AM
1 mom liked this

 Very good advice, I agree.


Quoting bethany0417:

Make a report to Adult Protective Services. They should be able to help. Good for you for caring about her. :)


 

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