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Pennsylvania Moms Pennsylvania Moms

What to do about a neighbor?

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If you had a neighbor living alone (with pets but thats another post) but not able to care for themself...what would you do?
Examples...
Not taking her psychiatric or cardiac meds
Taking to many pain meds and sleeping meds
Confusion over time of day, day of the week, ect
Has fallen multiple times
Not eating regular meals
A weeks worth of dishes piled in her sink again
Not showering or changing clothing
So much more.

Other facts (although there is so much more)
She does have family who says they will help but they havent. They did bring her home to her empty house from the hospital when I was away 2 weekends ago, but didn't take her prescriptions to the pharmacy or anything.
Family is in denial or unaware? If that is possible. Son refuses my phone calls and i don't know what she is telling them...

Idk, there is so much more, but I don't know what to do. I can't be her fulltime caregiver as I have my family to take care of. I was taking her to all appointments, talki g to her docs, scheduling appts & overall trying to get her help. I have now set limits, & she says her son will help during set times but it isnt happening. She missed getting her blood thinner levels checked last week, an orthopedic appt and a psych appt this week. They were supposed to be taking her for an mri tomorrow but apparently they cant do that now either. I'm no longer recording her appts, so she doesn't know when most are. She apparently told the person that called to come evaluate her for some kind of in hone care that someone else was coming.
Im afraid for her...and on top of it all, she may be evicted from her home next week because she doesnt have a lease (mobile home she inherited from her father but doesnt qualify for the community lease) & is behind on the rent. I feel like she is slipping throigh every crack, & i am out of ideas with family not stepping up but i cant just let her rot on her own either.
What would you do??.
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by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:20 PM
Replies (11-19):
mommyT3612
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:13 AM

i would help out or set her or he up with someone who could help out

SlightlyPerfect
Report
5 nominations, and my answer is still no.
Yesterday at 9:03 AM
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:44 AM

Isn't there a -11 number you can call? I know 911 is for emergencies, 411 is for information, and 211 is for domestic violence, but I swear there is a number to report a non-emergency. But she's only 52! OMG, where is her family??????

slightlyperfect

heatherh610
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:30 PM
Sadly her family is a joke. I spent most of the day trying to calm her and get her to make a plan. Ugh. I straightened out and put all of her upcoming appointments on a calender. I am trying to make it easier for someone else to take over some responsibility...I am going to speak to her family doc in person tomorrow morning though so that she can do another referral to the area agency on aging or possibly point my neighbor in the direction of an assisted loving facility that may work. I do hope we are on the right track here.


Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

Isn't there a -11 number you can call? I know 911 is for emergencies, 411 is for information, and 211 is for domestic violence, but I swear there is a number to report a non-emergency. But she's only 52! OMG, where is her family??????


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susan115
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:35 PM

You are a very good person and doing all the right things.  I, also, read  you are doing her scheduling, feeding her weekly trying to get her bus help.  Are there any other senior citizen organizatons that may help.  It seems she is just lonely and has a terrible family.  That is my family.  I just don't trust my family.  Take pictures for inventory if you can, because when she passes, that bad family with try profit on what little she has.

tazmidgiefairy
by Representative on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:38 PM
In philadrlphia it was called philadelphia aging something found your local and call and call her doxtora if u have to
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SahmTam
by Tammy on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:05 PM

 I don't know what all is out there, but since you were going to talk to her doctor anyway about making a report, maybe you can ask him/her what mental health services are out there that she might qualify for. Poor lady- very sad that her family won't step up to the plate!

LML1
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:23 PM

 I would bring it up to a doctor. I'm assuming she signed a release of info? For you to be able to speak with her doctors. If so, bring it up to the doctor prescribing the medicine. If she is not maintaining a healthy lifestyle and her family isn't doing anything to help. It's elderly abuse. There is 3 types of abuse Mental, Emotional and Physical. We live in a small community too. I check on our neighbors 3 times a week. They're in their late 60's... But I also make sure my family comes first.

Quoting heatherh610:

Sadly her family is a joke. I spent most of the day trying to calm her and get her to make a plan. Ugh. I straightened out and put all of her upcoming appointments on a calender. I am trying to make it easier for someone else to take over some responsibility...I am going to speak to her family doc in person tomorrow morning though so that she can do another referral to the area agency on aging or possibly point my neighbor in the direction of an assisted loving facility that may work. I do hope we are on the right track here.


Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

Isn't there a -11 number you can call? I know 911 is for emergencies, 411 is for information, and 211 is for domestic violence, but I swear there is a number to report a non-emergency. But she's only 52! OMG, where is her family??????


 

CafeMom Tickers

heatherh610
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:48 AM
Part of the "problem" is that she isn't "elderly" since she is only 52. Area Agency on Aging isn't a standard place to call until the age of 62 so it is rough.
She actually hasn't signed any releases for her docs to talk with me, so they are walking a fine line anytine they do. They obly take my call since I often sit in on her appts, per her request but they can't "provide any information." But when I call them, they aren't providing info and I am informing them. Technically they are still in the wrong but trying to do right by their patient...and I love then for it! She won't sign anything for me because she doesn't want her son to be upset if he found out.

I did speak with her family doc once again and she was calling in a referral to the Area Agency of Aging..soneobe should be out here by Monday to follow up on the referral. Hope they can help her!


Quoting LML1:

 I would bring it up to a doctor. I'm assuming she signed a release of info? For you to be able to speak with her doctors. If so, bring it up to the doctor prescribing the medicine. If she is not maintaining a healthy lifestyle and her family isn't doing anything to help. It's elderly abuse. There is 3 types of abuse Mental, Emotional and Physical. We live in a small community too. I check on our neighbors 3 times a week. They're in their late 60's... But I also make sure my family comes first.


Quoting heatherh610:

Sadly her family is a joke. I spent most of the day trying to calm her and get her to make a plan. Ugh. I straightened out and put all of her upcoming appointments on a calender. I am trying to make it easier for someone else to take over some responsibility...I am going to speak to her family doc in person tomorrow morning though so that she can do another referral to the area agency on aging or possibly point my neighbor in the direction of an assisted loving facility that may work. I do hope we are on the right track here.



Quoting SlightlyPerfect:


Isn't there a -11 number you can call? I know 911 is for emergencies, 411 is for information, and 211 is for domestic violence, but I swear there is a number to report a non-emergency. But she's only 52! OMG, where is her family??????



 


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heatherh610
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:06 AM
She does already recieve mental health services through a conmunity action program...but it isn't enough. They have to rely on her getting to appointments and telling them the truth... which is an "issue." She has missed many appts because she can't keep the times and days straight or other people don't follow through with taking her (her son was supposed to take her to her last 2 but either showed up to late or cancelled last minute. ..I am taking her on Monday to see her therapist and Tuesday for her psychiatrist now...but here I am being her only resource! It is a HUGE issue but it is so important that she gets there so that perhaps they can offer other help.).
I am afraid that once she isn't living here, all of her appts there will end because her son doesn't feel it is necessary or they are doing her any good! I have tried explaining to family countless times that the docs can only act on what they know (she tells them she is fine and all if good becuse she doesn't remember any differently), & they have to rely on her to follow through with their treatment plans (taking meds and such).


Quoting SahmTam:

 I don't know what all is out there, but since you were going to talk to her doctor anyway about making a report, maybe you can ask him/her what mental health services are out there that she might qualify for. Poor lady- very sad that her family won't step up to the plate!


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