This subject isn't painful for me to talk about, so feel free to ask questions. I have told this story in front of large groups before and have lead support groups for mothers whose babies have passed away.
Since this is very long, I am going to make several posts. That will make it easier for you to read a little bit of it at a time.
Way back in 1999, I was a 27 year old working for a billion dollar corporation. I was moving up the corporate ladder and enjoyed my job. I had been married for 4 years and had no plans of start any time soon. We were both really focused on our careers and were enjoying our child free lives very VERY much.
I was on BC, and took it religiously. In late May my period was late in coming, which was very rare for me. I thought that it was due to stress since I had just accepted a huge promotion at work a few weeks prior. By mid-June I had been sick for far too long, my best friend was concerned, I was in denial, and my husband was clueless. My friend purchased a pregnancy test and made me take it in the restroom at work. I couldn't look at it, so she is the one that checked it and it was positive. I was upset and very nervous. It took me a few weeks to tell my husband. About a month to call the doctor to schedule an appointment. I told my parents after the doctor's appointment. My parents were thrilled, I don't recall telling the ILs or their reaction.
I got huge very quickly, but only was gaining weight in my midsection. I wasn't able to wear my own clothing by the time I was 8 weeks along. I was also flying through bras like crazy, needing a bigger size every week or two. I was in maternity clothes prior to being 12 weeks, I wasn't thrilled.
At my 20 weeks ultrasound, the first one that I had, it was confirmed that I was carrying twins. We knew that they were identical due to a rare condition that only occurs in identical twins, called Twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS). This is where there is only one placenta for both babies to share, in most twin pregnancies there are two placentas. When TTTS occurs, neither baby is being nourished properly and there are usually heart problems involved as well.
At this point, I was considered a very high risk pregnancy and was referred to a perinatologist (maternal-fetal medicine specialist) who worked out of a local hospital with a level 3 NICU.
My mother went into hyper mode, buying baby things in double and quadruple (carseats). Her and my dad began getting the nursery ready in my house, although there was only one crib at my insistance as I planned on them sharing a crib for the first few weeks.