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Am I the only one?

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:55 AM
  • 17 Replies

Is anyone else not on good terms with your husband or SO? I just don't understand how I go from wanting to make another baby with him to opening my eyes and realizing he isn't stepping up to support us better. He is just riding the waves and letting things just sail. We are trying to come up with $600 to put heat in this darn house...he is just staying where he is job-wise, which is through a temp agencey. Instead of having sex yesterday night I told him seperation is an option if he doesn't get his act together. When there are big issues with our house/family/etc. he just steps back and thinks it is going to solve itself.

I told him much as I'd like to just keep on the laid back path we are on I can't just play PS3 with him and think that money is just going to come in on its own. I have a decent job working 38-40 hours a week at $8.50 an hour (no its not much but the hours are great)...he works $10/hour, but his hours can be 20 one week 40 the next 16 the's a temp job that isn't helping. He is hoping to just wait the 3 weeks til the commission job he got opens...they said it would open 3 weeks ago! So we have to wait over a month!

So he brough home the newspaper yesterday and I found some jobs off of Craigslist, which he says he applied to. I know my job doesn't pay as much, but living off of $200-$300 dollars to our name is killing me :( With all that baby talk and coming to this realization I've grown up after hitting 25. We need to get out of this rut....and fast. Or I'm afraid I'll ask for the seperation.

I feel like a jerk. I told him he can tell me if I can do more...He NEVER says anything bad about me, which makes me feel bad for telling him to own these issues instead of thinking they will solve themselves. I told him to man up. Yet he can't find anything to say about me. So I feel like the bad guy :(

Sorry if my rant doesn't make sense. I just need the support of you ladies. I feel like my marriage is falling apart because of 1) I've only seen divorce or struggling marriages and 2) Money....

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Amy on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:07 AM
Money sucks. It is one of the biggest reasons couples fight and end up separating. But you can get through it if you can discuss it. I love my husband so much but it seems all he cares about is money. It runs our lives. We are saving to buy a house so we have been scrimping and going without stuff for a while. It is frustrating to rarely go out because we get bored and sick of each other and that can cause arguments. But we know we have to do what we are doing right now and that it won't be forever. So my advice is to force your husband to talk about it, make him realize how important it is and I can assure you it will get better. Times are tough for almost everyone in this economy and you guys both have to do your part...good luck and keep us posted.
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by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:10 PM

I doubt you want me to keep you guys posted. It is just life crap I guess I'll get ovvverrr it............................

by Holli on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:13 PM

=\ Money sucks. But at the end of the day if he loves you and shows you that love your lucky. 

I can't be given the time of day as far as sex or affection goes. I won't get into it much but going days or weeks without a kiss or months without sex...I wish money was our problem. We fight nonstop some times.

by Jen on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:14 PM
Money is def a huuuge stressor.
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by Colleen on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:18 PM
Money does stink. Where do you work?
I noticed concord hospital has a couple openings for clerical roles that start at $12 an hour. They actually have quite a few openings- good benefits
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by Jennie on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:37 PM

money can cause stres every where

I guess telling him is it enough? is this how you want to live

these are things you need to talk about

and I am sorry but I think you threw the whole seperation thing ou there rather quick

I don't think its right to use it like that

but maybe there is more to it than you are telling us

he does go to work, maybe its not enough but he is,. and you know what its not easy to find something that quick,. So many people are hurting, I have a friend that has been out of work for over a year,. so she just started selling stuff on ebay and craigslist to help with the bills


by Jennie on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:38 PM

please excuse my errors my keyboard is messed up

by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:15 PM

I think I remember you saying that you lived in a more rural-y part of NH, right? Is him getting another job a real possibility in your area?

Money IS a big argument between couples, but the bright side is that he doesn't sound like a deadbeat or anything. He's working, hopeful for a certain position ... maybe just encourage him to call about the other job and check in?

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:25 PM

Jennie, he job hunts in spurts, not continusly. He'll do it when I remind him then just settle back into working with the job he currently has. I understand that it is tough, but when he isn't in the focusing on job hunting he is playing PS3 or wondering what Magic cards to get.

by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:45 PM

Magic cards?

Ugh ... I'd maybe let him know that if he doesn't find a more secure job soon you may have to sell the PS3!

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