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Mind if I vent a little?

Posted by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:07 PM
  • 8 Replies

Well, it's not really a vent. As you all might be sick of hearing DH and I always throw around the idea of one more child. Well, we have not-that-great jobs. At least we both work 35-40 hour weeks. That is hard in this economy, I know.


Anyways, we said we'd wait til we both work full-time and take it from there. Well, this past sunday we went to church. It was a pot luck + a baby shower. I had to go to work for 2pm so we both took cars so I could leave for work and they could stay.


Well, the baby showered was okay. We are still getting to know the people there and still establishing ourselves (we sometimes miss a sunday or two every month, but try not to). Well, I was kinda bored since I didn't really know the people the shower was for (sorry if I repeat myself).


Long story short, hubby and I kept looking at each other. Like, someday, someday. It was killing me to see them go through onsies, booties, blankets, diapers. I was acting like we were not able to ever have kids, ya know? I felt bitter and guilty all in one. It is sooooo easy for someone to be like "You two should have another one" Are you gonna pay for the diapers? Wake up every two hours with the child? Provide for him/her for 18+ years??


Now that DD is pretty much 4 we are starting to get asked that. My niece said we should (she's a teenager lol) when we were at my sisters house on Christmas and then at this baby shower some lady said it is about time we add another.


I am so confused and on the fence and...everything! I'm bitter, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm content. It seems to just be getting worse lol We are finally good where we are. If we have another we would only get to last a couple years in the home we are in. It's like if we do it we are just adding stress and disrupting what we have going on. If we don't we are constantly thinking about it...


Argghhheohigranh'eh'qogheoiwhgfdmlskandlfvnha;s!!! lol So I guess this is a vent and share....

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:07 PM
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Replies (1-8):
lasombrs
by Sara on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:28 PM

awwww I'm sorry! Thats why we did ours close so we never got used to sleeping again inbetween lol and the out grew stuff (or our home) kinda at the same time. I also did cloth which I made myself and bf though so that saved us thousands but I know its not for everyone and am so not a pushy persona about it. ITs just how we made it affordable. You guys will figure it out soon!

Crissy2424
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:40 PM

I feel like we never will pick one way or another.

jennient3
by Jennie on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:27 AM
Maybe that's when you will have a surprise :)
Unplanned like my third :)


Quoting Crissy2424:

I feel like we never will pick one way or another.

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xomrs.chase
by Sarah on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:29 AM
*hugs*
we keep going back and fourth- but another pregnancy is another risk for me. I feel so angry sometines because I'm not "normal" and I can never have a stress free, normal pregnancy and birth.. I have felt guilty that I will probably never give Dh another child. And I sometimes regret not getting my tubes tied during my csection. If the option wasn't there- I wouldn't feel so torn.
Then, I play with ds and think "maybe one is ok. Vacations will be easier, outings will be cheaper, and he won't ever have to compete with a sibling". Every time I fight with my sister or visit with Dh's brothers we REALLY start to think that 1 would be ok.
I'm accepting it more as time goes on, but it's been hard.

I wish you the best of luck!
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Crissy2424
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:27 AM

I'm so sorry you might not be able to give another child to your DH. That is when I feel  guilty because, most likely my possible next pregancy would go fine. Yet here I am upset cuz I am not sure if I wanna have a second child or not.

Quoting xomrs.chase:

*hugs*
we keep going back and fourth- but another pregnancy is another risk for me. I feel so angry sometines because I'm not "normal" and I can never have a stress free, normal pregnancy and birth.. I have felt guilty that I will probably never give Dh another child. And I sometimes regret not getting my tubes tied during my csection. If the option wasn't there- I wouldn't feel so torn.
Then, I play with ds and think "maybe one is ok. Vacations will be easier, outings will be cheaper, and he won't ever have to compete with a sibling". Every time I fight with my sister or visit with Dh's brothers we REALLY start to think that 1 would be ok.
I'm accepting it more as time goes on, but it's been hard.

I wish you the best of luck!


xomrs.chase
by Sarah on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Don't feel guilty. We all have our struggles in life, and on different levels. Yours is just as valid as anyone else's. :)
And Ty


Quoting Crissy2424:

I'm so sorry you might not be able to give another child to your DH. That is when I feel  guilty because, most likely my possible next pregancy would go fine. Yet here I am upset cuz I am not sure if I wanna have a second child or not.


Quoting xomrs.chase:

*hugs*

we keep going back and fourth- but another pregnancy is another risk for me. I feel so angry sometines because I'm not "normal" and I can never have a stress free, normal pregnancy and birth.. I have felt guilty that I will probably never give Dh another child. And I sometimes regret not getting my tubes tied during my csection. If the option wasn't there- I wouldn't feel so torn.

Then, I play with ds and think "maybe one is ok. Vacations will be easier, outings will be cheaper, and he won't ever have to compete with a sibling". Every time I fight with my sister or visit with Dh's brothers we REALLY start to think that 1 would be ok.

I'm accepting it more as time goes on, but it's been hard.



I wish you the best of luck!


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Crissy2424
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 12:35 PM

I just feel pain or yearning. One thing you ladies haven't heard about is that we made an  uh-oh and just kept going so I would of gotten pregnant. Well, that was, I think, 2 years ago. I yearn for that baby...believing that it would of been a boy. Well, that has kicked up. With DH getting this better job I am very emotional. I am yearning soooo bad for another baby.

Crissy2424
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 4:39 PM

blowing bubbles

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