Well, it's not really a vent. As you all might be sick of hearing DH and I always throw around the idea of one more child. Well, we have not-that-great jobs. At least we both work 35-40 hour weeks. That is hard in this economy, I know.
Anyways, we said we'd wait til we both work full-time and take it from there. Well, this past sunday we went to church. It was a pot luck + a baby shower. I had to go to work for 2pm so we both took cars so I could leave for work and they could stay.
Well, the baby showered was okay. We are still getting to know the people there and still establishing ourselves (we sometimes miss a sunday or two every month, but try not to). Well, I was kinda bored since I didn't really know the people the shower was for (sorry if I repeat myself).
Long story short, hubby and I kept looking at each other. Like, someday, someday. It was killing me to see them go through onsies, booties, blankets, diapers. I was acting like we were not able to ever have kids, ya know? I felt bitter and guilty all in one. It is sooooo easy for someone to be like "You two should have another one" Are you gonna pay for the diapers? Wake up every two hours with the child? Provide for him/her for 18+ years??
Now that DD is pretty much 4 we are starting to get asked that. My niece said we should (she's a teenager lol) when we were at my sisters house on Christmas and then at this baby shower some lady said it is about time we add another.
I am so confused and on the fence and...everything! I'm bitter, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm content. It seems to just be getting worse lol We are finally good where we are. If we have another we would only get to last a couple years in the home we are in. It's like if we do it we are just adding stress and disrupting what we have going on. If we don't we are constantly thinking about it...
Argghhheohigranh'eh'qogheoiwhgfdmlskandlfvnha;s!!! lol So I guess this is a vent and share....