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Would you allow this? Longish

Posted by on Dec. 25, 2012 at 10:51 PM
  • 37 Replies
My husbands grandparents always want drake to stay for a weekend and never ask about Leonie staying for a weekend.
They get her gifts and stuff and ask how she's doing but they never ask if she can stay for a weekend.
I brought this up with Rob and today when we were there he paid a little closer attention.
His Gma had drake and was like "oh I'd love to keep him here" rob just said "you keep one, you keep both" she didn't answer.
When we were leaving their house his gpa said "are you sure you don't want to leave drake here for a few days? You guys look exhausted" again rob said "if drake stays here so does Leonie"
His mom later on texted and asked if we wanted her to keep drake next weekend so we could celebrate new years.
This is how the conversation went.
Her - do you want us to keep drake next weekend so you guys can celebrate new years? Maybe Diana's mom wants to keep Leonie.
Him - why don't you guys want to keep Leonie? I don't think this is fair, you always want drake but never Leonie. It makes us feel like she's not wanted.
Her - oh honey, they love Leonie she's just too rambunctious and they're old.
Him - well now you live with them so you should be able to handle it, it's 3 adults to one toddler. Either both or none, I'm not having Leonie cry for her brother all weekend because you don't want both. Diana's mom can handle both and she does it by herself too.
Her - ill talk to them and let you know.

See, the thing is, their house is all white carpet and couches and Krystal and glass. Leonie is 3 she wants to play and all she ever hears at that house is "no, don't touch that".
By the time we leave she's grumpy because she hears nothing but no all day long. That's why they dont want to keep her there, only drake cause he doesn't get in trouble yet.

What would you do?
We haven't had a day alone since drake was born in may and we could use a break but not like that.
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by on Dec. 25, 2012 at 10:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Dinimon
by Diana on Dec. 25, 2012 at 10:52 PM
Forgot to add, robs moms moved in with them last weekend.
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MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Dec. 26, 2012 at 7:04 AM
3 moms liked this

I would be pissed to, and no you take both or none it's not fair to play favorites.

fla33023
by Silver Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 7:37 AM
I wouldn't read so much into it. My SIL has 3 boys...5,3 and 1. Her parents take the 5 & 3 yr olds often but not the baby. They dont want to deal with diapers and bottles and thats their choice. I see nothing wrong with that. Theyre being honest. I dont think its playing favorites. Your husbands grandparents are just better with a certain age and in a couple years, they might not be offering to keep Drake either! Take them up on it now! Find a sitter for Leonie and have a peaceful night out knowing both kids are with the people that can handle them best.
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Dinimon
by Diana on Dec. 26, 2012 at 7:58 AM
It just doesn't sit right with me for some reason.
I don't know how to explain it.
You're probably right though, I'm reading too much into it..


Quoting fla33023:

I wouldn't read so much into it. My SIL has 3 boys...5,3 and 1. Her parents take the 5 & 3 yr olds often but not the baby. They dont want to deal with diapers and bottles and thats their choice. I see nothing wrong with that. Theyre being honest. I dont think its playing favorites. Your husbands grandparents are just better with a certain age and in a couple years, they might not be offering to keep Drake either! Take them up on it now! Find a sitter for Leonie and have a peaceful night out knowing both kids are with the people that can handle them best.
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fla33023
by Silver Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 8:50 AM
If you think they're lying, thats one thing. But if you see where maybe Drake is honestly just easier for them, then it shouldn't feel as bad. And as far as Leonie missing her brother? Thats a time to maybe do something special with her. They'll both have to eventually learn that they don't get to go everywhere with each other.


Quoting Dinimon:

It just doesn't sit right with me for some reason.

I don't know how to explain it.

You're probably right though, I'm reading too much into it..




Quoting fla33023:

I wouldn't read so much into it. My SIL has 3 boys...5,3 and 1. Her parents take the 5 & 3 yr olds often but not the baby. They dont want to deal with diapers and bottles and thats their choice. I see nothing wrong with that. Theyre being honest. I dont think its playing favorites. Your husbands grandparents are just better with a certain age and in a couple years, they might not be offering to keep Drake either! Take them up on it now! Find a sitter for Leonie and have a peaceful night out knowing both kids are with the people that can handle them best.

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Dinimon
by Diana on Dec. 26, 2012 at 8:54 AM
To me it seems like they don't want her because she is a piece of work sometimes. Not because they can't handle her.
It's so much easier to hold a 7 month old all day than make sure a 3 yo sits still while eating.
You're right though, if they only want one I'll make sure Leonie gets to do something fun that she can't normally do with drake.


Quoting fla33023:

If you think they're lying, thats one thing. But if you see where maybe Drake is honestly just easier for them, then it shouldn't feel as bad. And as far as Leonie missing her brother? Thats a time to maybe do something special with her. They'll both have to eventually learn that they don't get to go everywhere with each other.




Quoting Dinimon:

It just doesn't sit right with me for some reason.


I don't know how to explain it.


You're probably right though, I'm reading too much into it..






Quoting fla33023:

I wouldn't read so much into it. My SIL has 3 boys...5,3 and 1. Her parents take the 5 & 3 yr olds often but not the baby. They dont want to deal with diapers and bottles and thats their choice. I see nothing wrong with that. Theyre being honest. I dont think its playing favorites. Your husbands grandparents are just better with a certain age and in a couple years, they might not be offering to keep Drake either! Take them up on it now! Find a sitter for Leonie and have a peaceful night out knowing both kids are with the people that can handle them best.

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SuperMommy8908
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:32 AM

I agree with you, I don't care how old the children are, they are BOTH family, you can't choose to only pick one over the other, doesnt matter if they don't think they are playing favorites, the KIDS will know when they get older. If you want one you want both or none. It just isnt fair, they are siblings. Siblings stick together! They will have enough to fight about then they are older, don't need to make family memebers being unfair to them another thing to fight about.

Dinimon
by Diana on Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:39 AM
That's what I thought too.
But you know what? They think drake is so easy, let them take him for a night, they'll call us to pick him up the next morning when they stay up with him all night.
That'll be the last time they ask to have him.


Quoting SuperMommy8908:

I agree with you, I don't care how old the children are, they are BOTH family, you can't choose to only pick one over the other, doesnt matter if they don't think they are playing favorites, the KIDS will know when they get older. If you want one you want both or none. It just isnt fair, they are siblings. Siblings stick together! They will have enough to fight about then they are older, don't need to make family memebers being unfair to them another thing to fight about.

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PhoenixMomof3
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:52 AM
I agree as well. I understand where they are coming from... but especially at 3, she will recognize that she isnt welcome yet her brother is. :( i would allow them to watch drake while you maybe take the big girl to a play and explain that plays are for big girls and not so much for babies... but not as a regular thing. It will only breed feelings of unworthiness and hurt. No little tiny bug should have to feel unwanted just cuz shes a healthy, normal, energetic little girl!


Quoting SuperMommy8908:

I agree with you, I don't care how old the children are, they are BOTH family, you can't choose to only pick one over the other, doesnt matter if they don't think they are playing favorites, the KIDS will know when they get older. If you want one you want both or none. It just isnt fair, they are siblings. Siblings stick together! They will have enough to fight about then they are older, don't need to make family memebers being unfair to them another thing to fight about.


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Dinimon
by Diana on Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:54 AM
I couldn't have put it better, thank you!
Those are the words I was looking for.


Quoting PhoenixMomof3:

I agree as well. I understand where they are coming from... but especially at 3, she will recognize that she isnt welcome yet her brother is. :( i would allow them to watch drake while you maybe take the big girl to a play and explain that plays are for big girls and not so much for babies... but not as a regular thing. It will only breed feelings of unworthiness and hurt. No little tiny bug should have to feel unwanted just cuz shes a healthy, normal, energetic little girl!




Quoting SuperMommy8908:

I agree with you, I don't care how old the children are, they are BOTH family, you can't choose to only pick one over the other, doesnt matter if they don't think they are playing favorites, the KIDS will know when they get older. If you want one you want both or none. It just isnt fair, they are siblings. Siblings stick together! They will have enough to fight about then they are older, don't need to make family memebers being unfair to them another thing to fight about.


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