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Florida Family laws

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:43 PM
  • 17 Replies
I am not married to my daughter's father. Our therapist suggested that he has Narcissistic personality disorder. The only family I have to help is 800 miles away. The law says I cannot relocate with my child unless the court grants it. But if I need to leave he has drained me of every possibility of doing so. He has told me he will not "let me take" the baby anywhere. (Before he said if we weren't going to work, we could agree on a visitation plan and he would pay my way home- that was before the baby was born) If you don't know much about NPD, please google it to understand what I am dealing with and how careful I will need to be to get out of it. Does anyone have any info on how to make this easier? Where to go to get paperwork, free legal aid? I live in Pensacola. My daughter is 10 months old and still breastfeeding.
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by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:43 PM
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Lurion
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:54 PM

Good luck with this all! 

When you say "our therapist suggested," do you mean a) a therapist that is also treating him has diagnosed him  with NPD and; b) this is something the therapist would be willing to testify in court, as a reason he shouldn't have contact with your daughter (or limited visitation)?

I have a BIL who was dx with NPD and he is nearly completely devoid of concern for his children, or emotional attachment to them.  Sounds like your daughter's father is engaged and wanting to be part of her life? Is he willing to pay more CS and/or watch her more if you stay? Do you want him to part of her life? 

It can't hurt to call legal aid and ask about all of this. 

There's a lot to weight out. Best of luck! 

mamamedic69
by Deanna on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:47 PM
I would definitely call and speak to a lawyer. It sounds as if it may be more than NPD. He won't "let you" take the baby anywhere. That doesn't sound like he wants to be involved but more towards being possessive or controlling.

It's a very tough spot to be in and I'm praying it all works out for you.
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DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Jan. 27, 2013 at 5:17 PM
3 moms liked this

Sounds like you need free help from a place that can get you out of this situation carefully. Here is the information for a center that can help in your county.  Please be careful. 

Escambia

FavorHouse of NW Florida, Inc.
Hotline number: (850)994-3560 or (850)434-6600

2001 W. Blount Street
Pensacola, FL  32501
Administration: (850)434-1177
FAX: (850)434-9987

DestinyHLewis
by Destiny on Jan. 27, 2013 at 5:19 PM

Ps. Make very sure that you erase your call log or better yet, use a friends phone, make sure your phone is password locked and that he cannot access your email, FB etc. 

Summersweety30
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 5:42 PM
Thank you!!


Quoting DestinyHLewis:

Sounds like you need free help from a place that can get you out of this situation carefully. Here is the information for a center that can help in your county.  Please be careful. 

Escambia

FavorHouse of NW Florida, Inc.
Hotline number: (850)994-3560 or (850)434-6600

2001 W. Blount Street
Pensacola, FL  32501
Administration: (850)434-1177
FAX: (850)434-9987


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Summersweety30
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 5:50 PM
He does nothing with her. He has never changed a diaper, never fed her, never bathed her etc. he reads a bed time story to her when I ask him to sometimes. After my complaining of him never doing anything for her he is building her a toy box but seems more interested in showing it off to people. Typical for this condition apparently.
He actually went to work the day that she was born! She was born at 7 am, he went in for his usual shift at 2. Like nothing had happened. He still goes out until 3 am every Friday and sometimes Saturday. Has not given me a break and acts as if I'm inconveniencing him when I ask him to hold her so I can shower or eat.
When this was brought up he said he doesn't "have to" take care of her because he pays the bills and puts a roof over our head.
The therapist is our relationship/family therapist. We were seeing a different one for 2 years and I decided to leave him in December. He begged and pleaded that we keep trying and see a better therapist. 5 sessions in and she asked to see me alone to talk to me about this.


Quoting Lurion:

Good luck with this all! 

When you say "our therapist suggested," do you mean a) a therapist that is also treating him has diagnosed him  with NPD and; b) this is something the therapist would be willing to testify in court, as a reason he shouldn't have contact with your daughter (or limited visitation)?

I have a BIL who was dx with NPD and he is nearly completely devoid of concern for his children, or emotional attachment to them.  Sounds like your daughter's father is engaged and wanting to be part of her life? Is he willing to pay more CS and/or watch her more if you stay? Do you want him to part of her life? 

It can't hurt to call legal aid and ask about all of this. 

There's a lot to weight out. Best of luck! 


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KylesMom409
by Linnette on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:05 PM
Thanks for posting this for her.

Quoting DestinyHLewis:

Sounds like you need free help from a place that can get you out of this situation carefully. Here is the information for a center that can help in your county.  Please be careful. 

Escambia

FavorHouse of NW Florida, Inc.
Hotline number: (850)994-3560 or (850)434-6600

2001 W. Blount Street
Pensacola, FL  32501
Administration: (850)434-1177
FAX: (850)434-9987

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TheMommyTaxi
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 6:15 PM
2 moms liked this

Best of luck.  Please be safe, your child's safety comes first. 

Lurion
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:00 PM

So are you living together now, but you want to leave? 

Have you done any legal paperwork at all? I live in FL and there's nothing in my agreement that says we can't move. I know some people have that written into their agreement, but it's not required. 

Unfortunately, condition or no, that's how a lot of new fathers act. Unless it's something blatant like abuse or neglect, it probably won't be enough to make a difference in court. 

If you haven't drawn up any paperwork, you may be better off getting settled near your family (will they help?) and sorting out the visitation afterward. I'd just think long and hard about how you will explain that to your daughter later on. He may be any number of things, but he's still her father. 

Good luck :) 

Quoting Summersweety30:

He does nothing with her. He has never changed a diaper, never fed her, never bathed her etc. he reads a bed time story to her when I ask him to sometimes. After my complaining of him never doing anything for her he is building her a toy box but seems more interested in showing it off to people. Typical for this condition apparently.
He actually went to work the day that she was born! She was born at 7 am, he went in for his usual shift at 2. Like nothing had happened. He still goes out until 3 am every Friday and sometimes Saturday. Has not given me a break and acts as if I'm inconveniencing him when I ask him to hold her so I can shower or eat.
When this was brought up he said he doesn't "have to" take care of her because he pays the bills and puts a roof over our head.
The therapist is our relationship/family therapist. We were seeing a different one for 2 years and I decided to leave him in December. He begged and pleaded that we keep trying and see a better therapist. 5 sessions in and she asked to see me alone to talk to me about this.


Quoting Lurion:

Good luck with this all! 

When you say "our therapist suggested," do you mean a) a therapist that is also treating him has diagnosed him  with NPD and; b) this is something the therapist would be willing to testify in court, as a reason he shouldn't have contact with your daughter (or limited visitation)?

I have a BIL who was dx with NPD and he is nearly completely devoid of concern for his children, or emotional attachment to them.  Sounds like your daughter's father is engaged and wanting to be part of her life? Is he willing to pay more CS and/or watch her more if you stay? Do you want him to part of her life? 

It can't hurt to call legal aid and ask about all of this. 

There's a lot to weight out. Best of luck! 




maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:06 PM


Quoting TheMommyTaxi:

Best of luck.  Please be safe, your child's safety comes first. 

I don't what to say other than this. ^

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