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If you can give constructive criticism then please read this

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:48 AM
  • 4 Replies

I started writing last night. It came out of the blue. I have no idea where this is going. It just flowed right through me onto the screen. I just want some opinions on it. I'm trying to decide if I want to continue on with it or not.

Its been a long time since I wrote anything.


Here it is. 



There was nothing anyone could say to her to change her mind. It was time to move on. No amount of begging or pleading would stop her this time. She had to escape this life of disappointment and live her dreams to the fullest even if that meant leaving all she knew behind her.

Too bad she didn't know that it would be the worse decision of her life.

She had come to this decision on a Wednesday morning. It was a typical spring afternoon in a crummy little hick town. Nothing too exceptional happening, but for some reason it was the perfect climate for her to decide it was time to give her dreams flight.
Tonya had been sitting out on her worn out blue quilted blanket. It was her absolute favorite as her Grandmother had hand stitched every single stitch in it. It was made from love and it was the best gift she has ever gotten. Sad truth is that it's been the only gift since her Grandmother's passing. The sky was a perfect blue with no cloud in sight. It beckoned Tonya. There was no way she could ignore the call and naturally she dragged her most precious gift along with her as she set herself up in the front yard. The little tingles of memory covered her body as she shook the blanket out so it would lay just right on the ground. She slowly lay down and positioned her head on top of her arms. With her eyes closed, she soaked up all the rays the sun had to offer. She imagined how the sun was just her's on this fine day. She relished the feel of the slight breeze as it kissed her lips and she pretended it was her Grandmother. As she lay there in this perfect trance, her mind drifted off in memories of past. She pictured the sweet women clearly as though she just saw her not but 5 minutes ago instead of 5 years ago. The familiar ache and pain of her loss started to consume her, she could hear the last piece of advice her Grandmother had given her.

"Tone, don't ever let anyone tell you what you can and cannot accomplish. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. There's nothing in this world strong enough to hold back your determination except for you."

5 years later, Tonya had nothing to show for it. Nothing. She couldn't help but feel utter disappointment. She feared her Grandmother was looking down on her at that exact moment truly disappointed since Tonya had given up completely. She gave up looking for Mr. or even Mrs. Right. She gave up trying to decide what her passion in life would be. She gave up so much, that she couldn't even remember what had brought her out California in the first place.

"Granny," it was as though she was merely speaking to the wind since her voice was just barely audible, "how could I stray so far off the path?"

Of course she had done it to herself and had no one else to blame. As soon as she'd realize that, the sooner she could begin the healing process and move on, but she couldn't.



by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:48 AM
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Replies (1-4):
krn210
by Kristin on Apr. 23, 2013 at 9:58 AM

Other than a couple minor grammatical things....I LiKE it! It was a nice easy read, flowed well and was thought provoking. Keep writing. Bravo! :-) 

Ferrari
by Felicia on Apr. 23, 2013 at 11:45 AM

haha doesn't surprise me. I usually find minor errors when I go back through lol I need an editor


Thank you though.

Quoting krn210:

Other than a couple minor grammatical things....I LiKE it! It was a nice easy read, flowed well and was thought provoking. Keep writing. Bravo! :-) 


krn210
by Kristin on Apr. 23, 2013 at 11:48 AM

It happens to all of us, especially when your thoughts are racing to get out. :-) 

Quoting Ferrari:

haha doesn't surprise me. I usually find minor errors when I go back through lol I need an editor


Thank you though.

Quoting krn210:

Other than a couple minor grammatical things....I LiKE it! It was a nice easy read, flowed well and was thought provoking. Keep writing. Bravo! :-) 



meam4444
by Representative on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:41 PM

 Will try to get to it tomorrow.  :-)

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