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Virginia Moms Virginia Moms

am i wrong .

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 9:55 PM
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So my bf has a friend he some guy we met from his sister the friend is married and they have two kids i tried to go over and hang out with the wife but i dont think we are eachother type for a friend plus shes super cool with my bf sis and the like to talk about ppl i just dont feel like thats the type of person i should hang around .anywho my bf goes over there from time to time and comes home 4am or later and sometimes doesnt at all not until the next day. This is always an issue when he goes out all i ask is that he calls or txt me just to say hey babe im ok gonna b bome later then what i told u or hey babe i drank to much im gonna stay here and sleep it off . Im tryin to be understanding but i think its disrespectful to me that he doesnt do those things. He just comes home like nothing . I dont do that if i go out i stay in contact . It just really hurts me cuz i dont have any friends to go hang out with or come to my house . I get left here and it hurts am i wrong for feeling this way ? im tryin really hard to not let it upset me but it does
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 9:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
msjoy86
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 9:58 PM

no i don't think you are but sometimes you gotta treat others the way they treat you for them to understand. if you ever need someone you can always inbox me.

lovemyboys0812
by Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 10:10 PM
Quoting msjoy86:

no i don't think you are but sometimes you gotta treat others the way they treat you for them to understand. if you ever need someone you can always inbox me.





Thank you :) and i did that once and it only got worst
Rach0307
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 10:30 PM
My DH had a nasty habit of doing that when we first got married. He still has the occassional issue with lack of communication when he's elsewhere, but has gotten a lot better about it in the last few years. For him, it was really a matter of immaturity (acting like an 18 year old bachelor whose actions affected only himself). We had a few heart-to-hearts about how it made me feel. I honestly didn't mind the action itself (especially if he's drunk and shouldn't drive home anyway), it was the lack of communication. I made him understand that a simple text would suffice, because I truly worry when he doesn't call (Is he in a ditch? Did he get into a brawl? Did he get pulled over for dui? Etc.). Every time I go out without him, I update him frequently, and I know he appreciates that. It took some time and a lot of patience, but those things really helped. Good luck, and I hope he begins to understand that this is a simple request in a partnership!
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lovemyboys0812
by Member on Dec. 29, 2012 at 11:38 PM
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Quoting Rach0307:

My DH had a nasty habit of doing that when we first got married. He still has the occassional issue with lack of communication when he's elsewhere, but has gotten a lot better about it in the last few years. For him, it was really a matter of immaturity (acting like an 18 year old bachelor whose actions affected only himself). We had a few heart-to-hearts about how it made me feel. I honestly didn't mind the action itself (especially if he's drunk and shouldn't drive home anyway), it was the lack of communication. I made him understand that a simple text would suffice, because I truly worry when he doesn't call (Is he in a ditch? Did he get into a brawl? Did he get pulled over for dui? Etc.). Every time I go out without him, I update him frequently, and I know he appreciates that. It took some time and a lot of patience, but those things really helped. Good luck, and I hope he begins to understand that this is a simple request in a partnership!



Thank u , i wish he would get it but idk if he ever will hes,out tonight so we shall see if our talk last night did any good or made things worst . But u gave me hope so thanks
Rach0307
by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:17 AM
One thing that may help push him in the right direction is if you text him when you go to bed (assuming you're not waiting up) just to say goodnight and that you love him. It's a bit of a reminder that you're thinking about him, which in turn, will make him think about you :)


Quoting lovemyboys0812:

Quoting Rach0307:

My DH had a nasty habit of doing that when we first got married. He still has the occassional issue with lack of communication when he's elsewhere, but has gotten a lot better about it in the last few years. For him, it was really a matter of immaturity (acting like an 18 year old bachelor whose actions affected only himself). We had a few heart-to-hearts about how it made me feel. I honestly didn't mind the action itself (especially if he's drunk and shouldn't drive home anyway), it was the lack of communication. I made him understand that a simple text would suffice, because I truly worry when he doesn't call (Is he in a ditch? Did he get into a brawl? Did he get pulled over for dui? Etc.). Every time I go out without him, I update him frequently, and I know he appreciates that. It took some time and a lot of patience, but those things really helped. Good luck, and I hope he begins to understand that this is a simple request in a partnership!





Thank u , i wish he would get it but idk if he ever will hes,out tonight so we shall see if our talk last night did any good or made things worst . But u gave me hope so thanks

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egyptian_mommy
by Michelle on Dec. 30, 2012 at 9:04 AM
No you're not wrong. My husband is awful about that too. Men seem to think either we're just nagging them or checking up to see if they're up to no good, when really we're worried something has happened or we've got dinner ready or some other legitimate reason. Personally I think it's irresponsible and you know if we did the same thing they would have a fit!
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virginiamama71
by Carrie on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:06 PM

I would not check up on him especially since you already know where he is and the reasons why he would not return at certain times.

You may want to mention the importance of spending more time together, as well as having friends that both of you can spend time with and balancing out the time together as couple/family and with friends.

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MyMysMommie819
by Mandy on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:30 PM
I don't think your wrong at all. My bf use to do that too and that's one thing I can't stand because I'm a worry wart. Lol I would just tell him how u feel and see what he says or I know it's not right but do it back to him and see how he likes it lol
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virginiamama71
by Carrie on Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:41 PM

I do not think its a good thing to do to someone what we are trying to resolve from having had it done to us, cause its possible it may come back to us in the wrong way. 

Quoting MyMysMommie819:

I know it's not right but do it back to him and see how he likes it lol

 

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forgodsuse780
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 10:14 AM
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I don't believ you are wrong for your feelings.  Just communicate in a non threatning way.  Express your feelings and don't accuse.  Much love and best to you


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