9 year old son acting out! HELP PLEASE!!! (long but please bare with me)
I just went off on my 9yo DS (spanked & sent him to his room).
Last week (the 21st) I got a call from the school saying they want to emergency remove him from school for the day because he was pretending to shoot classmates with a gun (his forefinger & thumb) along with a few other students. HE got sent home because this was the 2nd time he had been caught doing it at school within 3 days. This evening my 11yo DD came out from the rec room & said DS was coloring on the entertainment center with a crayon!!!
When I went to his room with him to talk to him I asked if he was doing bad things to get my attention & he said no. I asked if he is trying to get me to spend more time with him. He said no. I asked if he was trying to get his dad's attention & he said no. I explained that doing bad things to get attention only gets him in trouble, he gets sent to his room, & no one is around him to pay attention to him. I also explained that if he needs more attention from me or dad he needs to tell us- not act out.
DS was the baby of the family for 6 years then we had another child (who is now 3). The kids also found out a few months ago that their dad has another child by another "woman" (dad is 38 this girl is 21, the other sibling is 19 months old). Dad is not around- barely comes over on his days off & when he does only spends a few hours here (I don't want to get into THAT right now) & the time that he is here he is on his computer playing a game (Minecraft) with the oldest child. DS is technically the middle child of his dad's (I have 5 kids, MY oldest is not my ex's but together we have 4 kids plus he has this other child). IDK if what I am getting is middle child syndrome or not.
I don't know what to do about my DS. My mom has mentioned before that DS has mentioned killing himself before (when he was over at her house- I don't recall the exact situation) & thinks I need to have him talk to a counselor. As a mother I know I probably should get him into counseling. But as a SINGLE mom of 5- I just don't have the time (I know- FIND IT). I work full time, the older kids are involved in activities that require time in the evenings after work & school. Should I get him involved in something as well? He has never expressed an interest in anything other than football (which I refuse to let him do because at the age of 9 he is only 45 pounds & considered underweight for his age). My oldest plays soccer & DS does seem to like kicking around the ball in the backyard with his big brother.
Any advice or suggestions (constructive not slamming) would be greatly appreciated!