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Hubby is extremely ill and won't go to the hospital.

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2018 at 8:04 PM
  • 10 Replies

Blood pressure is below 80/60.  Hasn't gotten out of bed all day except to go to the toilet and have severe diarrhea.  Lying in bed moaning.  Won't go to the hospital.  

I told him he's gonna die from doing dumb stuff like this.  This is about the 4th time.  I don't know if he has flu or what.  He refused to get a shot, well, no, he said every time he would, then didn't get it.  Despite going past the minute clinic about 4 times a day every single day.

by on Feb. 13, 2018 at 8:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
caustinb
by Member on Feb. 13, 2018 at 8:05 PM
Tell him he has 15 minutes to be in the car, otherwise you'll call an ambulance. His choice.
Corieva
by on Feb. 13, 2018 at 8:06 PM
Call 911
lancet98
by New Member on Feb. 13, 2018 at 8:07 PM

He's an adult, he says, no one can make him go to the hospital.  

lancet98
by New Member on Feb. 14, 2018 at 11:31 AM

He's still alive.

But I am insisting he sign an advanced health care directive that gives me the power to take him to the hospital or call EMTs to take him there, at my discretion.  When his blood pressure is below 80 or in other cases in which I have a credible medical concern.

I am HOPING that this will make him be more proactive in managing his own health care.  All he has to do is be a LITTLE more  proactive in increasing his dose of medication and his fluid intake when he has a mild viral infection.  That and not eating wildly inappropriate things like a whole bottle of salsa, something else I found after I cleaned up the shit splattered all over everywhere.

ReedusStalker
by Member on Feb. 15, 2018 at 1:43 PM

Wow!  I wonder why his BP is so low

lancet98
by New Member on Feb. 15, 2018 at 7:01 PM
1 mom liked this

He has Addison's disease.  This is a deficiency of 3 key adrenal hormones,  which are involved in regulating electrolytes and other 'balances' in the human body.   

When he becomes dehydrated, due to diarrhea, vomiting or other causes (like not drinking when sweating heavily) he can have an 'Addisonian crisis' in which is blood pressure 'crashes' to a  very low level.

He can also have a crisis if he gets an illness.  He has to take more hydrocortisone when he gets a virus like a cold.  If he forgets, he can go into a crisis.

Or if he forgets to take his medication.  He was a secret alcoholic for many years.  And that has damaged his body systems and his brain somewhat as well.  It also causes him to forget more.

After taking a much higher 'emergency' dose of hydrocortisone, and me insisting he drink a lot of electrolyte solution, his blood pressure went up to 120/80 within 24 hours.

On the day I started this thread, his blood pressure was about 77/60.  He was delirious and irrational.  He's supposed to go to the hospital in an  ambulance when that happens.

Quoting ReedusStalker:

Wow!  I wonder why his BP is so low


ReedusStalker
by Member on Feb. 15, 2018 at 7:03 PM

So he knew he had this illness and just wasn't doing anything about it?  MEN!  

Quoting lancet98:

He has Addison's disease.  This is a deficiency of 3 key adrenal hormones,  which are involved in regulating electrolytes and other 'balances' in the human body.   

When he becomes dehydrated, due to diarrhea, vomiting or other causes (like not drinking when sweating heavily) he can have an 'Addisonian crisis' in which is blood pressure 'crashes' to a  very low level.

After taking a much higher 'emergency' dose of hydrocortisone, and me insisting he drink a lot of electrolyte solution, his blood pressure went up to 120/80 within 24 hours.

On the day I started this thread, his blood pressure was about 77/60.  He's supposed to go to the hospital in an  ambulance when that happens.

Quoting ReedusStalker:

Wow!  I wonder why his BP is so low



lancet98
by New Member on Feb. 15, 2018 at 7:20 PM
1 mom liked this


It's not that he wasn't doing anything.

He knows he has the illness, he's had it for almost 40 years.  And he has medication, and usually takes it daily. 

The problem is that he forgets sometimes to take his medication.  And that he doesn't realize when he's getting sick, which is when he needs to increase his dose temporarily. 

And, he doesn't put it together that his stomach is grumbling and hes starting to get diarrhea that he needs to drink electrolyte solution, and he won't take anything for diarrhea when he does get it.

Furthermore, he goes and eats a whole bottle of salsa and some enchiladas that he put in the freezer six months ago.  Food spoils.  And quite often, I think he just eats an excess of things like salsa when we've talked over and over again about how that causes him to get diarrhea.

I make rules - that everything that goes in the freezer has to be labeled with a date, and not used if it's past the dates posted on the refrigerator (for his reference), but he just doesn't pay attention to that.  If I ask him what he's eating, he simply lies and says it's something he just bought.  He also hides food in his car, which spoils, and he eats that.

He's starting to get dementia, or has some brain damage from alcoholism, or both.  He just doesn't think like a 'normal' person.  He doesn't connect up cause and effect, and he lies a lot.

And this extends to a lot of other things.  For example, I try to get him to keep a cell phone on him, keep it charged up, and answer it when it rings.

But every single one of those things has been a battle.  He always agrees that it's important to have a cell phone, or whatever, and he always says he sees my point and will do whatever, because it makes sense.  He's the most agreeable person in the world.

But that doesn't mean he's going to DO what he agrees to do!  So for example, it took two YEARS of constantly chatting, reminding and then insisting, that he carry a cell phone in his pocket when he's driving any distance, etc.

Then it took another two years of struggle to get him to ANSWER the phone. 

Then it took ANOTHER two years to get him to replace the phone when it wasn't ringing.  He promised multiple times to replace the phone, always incredibly agreeable, but he doesn't do it.  I'll say, today you're going right by the phone store, it's a perfect day to replace your phone, it'll be free since you're long due for a new phone.  And he'll say, yeah, that's right, I'll do that, good idea.  And when he comes home, I'll say, did you get to the phone store?  Yes, I did, I replaced my phone.  

SIX MONTHS LATER, he's still trying to get his social worker to tell him the phone is fine.  

So it's a very frustrating situation.  And of course there are also the years and years of lying about drinking.  In fact, he let me believe he was dying of a terminal illness rather than just be honest and say he was drinking.  And he never apologized for that.

It's horrible, really.  It's been horrible for years.

I was so exhausted after years and years of struggling with him that when he refused to go to the hospital, I said, fine, go ahead.  I'm so sick of this.

One time the house was so full of police and EMTs and NONE of them could get him to go to the hospital either.  He just kept saying 'no.'  And you can't tell what will make him go, either.  I just kept  making stuff up, 'I broke my foot, I can't lift you', etc, and for some reason that time, somehow my foot supposedly being broke got him to go to the hospital.

So that's the background.  This Addisonian crisis has happened before. 

The last time, it happened during finals week of my class. I NEED this class so I can get a certification and a job.  And after that time, I was just - I was ruined.  I couldn't think or study or sleep for weeks.  I was just so depressed.  And I'd wake up terrified that it was happening again.  It was awful.  

And after that last time, when he was staggering all over and crashing into the floor - he hit the floor and went unconscious, and bashed his head, and honest to God, I thought he was dead that time.  I couldn't get him to wake up, I was screaming his name, crying and shaking him.  FINALLY he woke up.  I really thought he had died.  It was horrible.

THAT time he finally agreed to go to the hospital with all the cops standing around.  But he lied to the doctor at the hospital and said he was 'just a little woozy' and that I was lying, and that he didn't hit his head hard at all (his whole forehead looked like hamburger meat).  And didn't pass out.

So the doctor thought I was a liar and making it all for some reason.  I FINALLY convinced them to MRI his head to make sure he didn't have a subdural hematoma, he just CRASHED to the floor.  Bare hardwood floor, too.  The whole house shook.  I was terrified.

SO that is a little background.  

OH YEAH, I also wrote a long, long letter to the doctor saying they needed to change his daily dose, they did finally do that, and that did SEEM to help, but you see, he's got to realize when he's getting diarrhea, and he just - doesn't.

So then, after this time, I stayed awake for the next 24 hours watching him, feeding him electrolyte solution, and when he was better, I told him he has to sign a health directive.

AND OF COURSE, he agreed to that!

Ugh...I wish I had run away with the guy down the street 10 years ago when I wanted to, LOL.

Quoting ReedusStalker:

So he knew he had this illness and just wasn't doing anything about it?  MEN!  

Quoting lancet98:

He has Addison's disease.  This is a deficiency of 3 key adrenal hormones,  which are involved in regulating electrolytes and other 'balances' in the human body.   

When he becomes dehydrated, due to diarrhea, vomiting or other causes (like not drinking when sweating heavily) he can have an 'Addisonian crisis' in which is blood pressure 'crashes' to a  very low level.

After taking a much higher 'emergency' dose of hydrocortisone, and me insisting he drink a lot of electrolyte solution, his blood pressure went up to 120/80 within 24 hours.

On the day I started this thread, his blood pressure was about 77/60.  He's supposed to go to the hospital in an  ambulance when that happens.

Quoting ReedusStalker:

Wow!  I wonder why his BP is so low




endearment
by on Feb. 19, 2018 at 1:56 PM

I hope he gets to the hospital soon, and yes call 911! I hope he feels better soon, and sometimes men are stubborn.

lancet98
by New Member on Feb. 19, 2018 at 2:18 PM
1 mom liked this

He refused to go categorically, so calling 911 is not any help. 

They get here and he won't go and they won't make him go.  

I don't call them if I'm absolutely sure he'll refuse to go when they get here.

This time, he just stayed home.  He was horribly sick, but he wouldn't go in.  Not even if I drove him.

Soooo....after he got more alert and oriented, I told him that I require him to sign an advanced health care directive and that I have to have the decision making power when he is delirious.

And that I am not going to take the responsibility of making medical decisions that only a doctor should make, like how much medication is it safe for him to take when he's in a given state of Addisonian crisis.  Those are medical decisions a doctor has to make.

No matter how much interest I have in medicine or how much I like to chat about it, I'm not a doctor, and I do NOT want to make a decison about medicine that a doctor should be making.

Quoting endearment:

I hope he gets to the hospital soon, and yes call 911! I hope he feels better soon, and sometimes men are stubborn.


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