Ever want to just tell someone how it is?

[heydooney]

My cousin is 26 or 27, been married twice, both times ending up in really bad situations with DV and fearing for her life and her child, moved back to IL after leaving her last abusive husband, met a guy, got engaged... things were great, bla bla bla, and suddenly he's horrible, she's pregnant, he doesn't want to be with her, he does, he doesn't, etc.

she moved on. good for her.

today her fb status changed to "in a relationship." being the protective older cuz, I had a look at the guy. of course his profile is public. he's 21 and almost all his pictures are the tipped back flat-billed hat, skinny, shirtless, "this is my badass face" selfies. *facepalm*

I just see her doing the same stupid thing again. she's about to have her third baby, i think she needs to focus on herself and her kids, but she thinks she's not complete unless she is tied to a loser. she says "it's about time i found someone that makes me smile" um... i'm pretty sure i remember her saying that about the last guy. I just want to comment on that post "dude, he looks like a douchebag."

[Bradensmommy719]

I would! I am sorry you are watching her go through this again. It is hard. Sounds like she needs a slap from reality

[heydooney]

One would think she might learn! But the reason I was able to help her out of her one abuse situation was that he didn't see me as a threat & didn't make her delete me from facebook, since I was one of the few who just kind of kept quiet, kept tabs, and didn't try to tell her he was bad news. Cause you can't tell her anything, she knows better!

Quoting Bradensmommy719:

I would! I am sorry you are watching her go through this again. It is hard. Sounds like she needs a slap from reality

[flowerfunleah]

I have friends like that. What I've learned from them is to just let them make their mistakes, they're going to do what they want to do no matter what you tell them. 

[heydooney]

It sucks to value someone more than they value themselves!

Quoting flowerfunleah:

I have friends like that. What I've learned from them is to just let them make their mistakes, they're going to do what they want to do no matter what you tell them. 

[flowerfunleah]

True that.

But there's nothing to be done, the best I can do is be there for my friends emotionally when something goes amiss.

Quoting heydooney:

It sucks to value someone more than they value themselves!

Quoting flowerfunleah:

I have friends like that. What I've learned from them is to just let them make their mistakes, they're going to do what they want to do no matter what you tell them. 

[TristanMitchael]

 I know a girl like that. She ended up getting all of her kids taken away because of her bad decisions. Everybody would tell her too but she was to naive to believe anything anyone said.

[Babybear89]

ugh ye yhays awful. hope she wake ip before something happens

[Larsbug]

 yes...but I would tell her...I don't really have a sensor though

[mjimaging]

Sounds like my sister. She has made awful decisions to the point I refused to talk to her. My dad said I wasn't treating her like a human being. I just didn't talk to her, I felt that was safer. I can't blow up if I don't talk to her. She stole all my daughters money from her piggy bank when she was a baby, she abandoned her first child for months, She went on to har two more kids. All different losers. She never worked, slept on the couch while her kids got in to my moms pills for everything. Any one of the pills could have killed the kid. But, she's now 30ish, give or take a year an she lives in her own home, she has full time work. She is finally taking care of her kids and they seem happy. I finally friended her on Facebook and we talk now and then. She turned it aroun but only after screwing things up completely. She's not 100% bak on track but she's gettig there. I'm far more tolerable of her now. Anyway, sometimes they have to fail on their own ad you just hope they don't kill themselves in the process. Most people grow up, it just takes some longer then others.

[heydooney]

Thanks, so there is hope! lol

And also I shouldn't judge the guy just on his looks. I wish her the best.