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1.Characteristics of Verbal Abuse

Posted by (Mersija~Admin) on Aug. 26, 2013 at 2:49 AM
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What are some of the characteristics of verbal abuse? Here is a list as outlined in The Verbally Abusive Relationship.

http://www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4218331/k.977B/Verbal_Abuse.htm <---I got this info from this site.

1. Verbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature and abilities of the partner. Over time, the partner may begin to believe that there is something wrong with her or her abilities. She may come to feel that she is the problem, rather than her partner.

2. Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name-calling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, even something that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is usually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing to the partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, is even more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control her without her knowing.

3. Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling. Even disparaging comments may be voiced in an extremely sincere and concerned way. But the goal is to control and manipulate.

4. Verbal abuse is insidious. The partner’s self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without her realizing it. She may consciously or unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upset the abuser.

5. Verbal abuse is unpredictable. In fact, unpredictability is one of the most significant characteristics of verbal abuse. The partner is stunned, shocked, and thrown off balance by her mate’s sarcasm, angry jab, put-down, or hurtful comment.

6. Verbal abuse is not a side issue. It is the issue in the relationship. When a couple is having an argument about a real issue, the issue can be resolved. In a verbally abusive relationship, there is no specific conflict. The issue is the abuse, and this issue is not resolved. There is no closure.

7. Verbal abuse expresses a double message. There is incongruence between the way the abuser speaks and her real feelings. For example, she may sound very sincere and honest while she is telling her partner what is wrong with him.

8. Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity, frequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may begin with put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other forms might surface. Sometimes the verbal abuse may escalate into physical abuse, starting with “accidental” shoves, pushes, and bumps.


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2.Categories of Verbal Abuse

http://www.cafemom.com/group/117832/forums/read/18964028/2_Categories_of_Verbal_Abuse 


by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 2:49 AM
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Replies (1-5):
TattoomamaPink
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this

These are awesome post! and so on point !!

Angels_on_Guard Mersija~Admin
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 3:33 PM

BUMP!

Khanfan
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:30 AM

Thank you so much for posting thiese lessons together as they are today.  This is valuable information for those who are living this way and can't find any peace in life because of it.

RINKADINK2257 Sylvia
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:29 AM

 My verbal abuse is covert . I  didn't 't realize that it happened.  I allowed this to happen over 14 years. Now i'm tired of being groomed. That's why  i' mgoign to WOMEN HELPING WOMEN so ican be educated .I'm even considering taking self defense courses. I'm going  to be okay. I  don 't want to go  into the hliday season with  this goign on . I  hope my ex SO will have his own partment by then.

Angels_on_Guard Mersija~Admin
by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 11:15 AM

BUMP!

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