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2.Categories of Verbal Abuse

Posted by (Mersija~Admin) on Aug. 26, 2013 at 2:50 AM
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What are some of the categories of verbal abuse? Here is a list as outlined in The Verbally Abusive Relationship.{4}

The first category of verbal abuse is withholding. A marriage requires intimacy, and intimacy requires empathy. If one partner withholds information and feelings, then the marriage bond weakens. The abuser who refuses to listen to his partner denies her experience and leaves her isolated.

The second is countering. This is the dominant response of the verbal abuser who sees his partner as an adversary. He is constantly countering and correcting everything she says and does. Internally he may even be thinking, “How dare she have a different view!”

Countering is very destructive to a relationship because it prevents the partner from knowing what his mate thinks about anything. Sometimes the verbal abuser will cut off discussion in mid-sentence before he can finish his thought. In many ways, she cannot even allow him to have his own thoughts.

A third category of verbal abuse is discounting. This is like taking a one hundred-dollar item and reducing its price to one cent. Discounting denies the reality and experience of the partner and is extremely destructive. It can be a most insidious form of verbal abuse because it denies and distorts the partner’s actual perception of the abuse.

Sometimes verbal abuse is disguised as jokes. Although his comments may masquerade as humor, they cut the partner to the quick. The verbal jabs may be delivered crassly or with great skill, but they all have the same effect of diminishing the partner and throwing her off balance.

A fifth form of verbal abuse is blocking and diverting. The verbal abuser refuses to communicate, establishes what can be discussed, or withholds information. He can prevent any possibility of resolving conflicts by blocking and diverting.

Accusing and blaming is another form. A verbal abuser will accuse his partner of some wrongdoing or some breach of the basic agreement of the relationship. This has the effect of diverting the conversation and putting the other partner on the defensive.

Another form of verbal abuse is judging and criticizing. The verbal abuser may judge her partner and then express her judgment in a critical way. If he objects, she may tell him that she is just pointing something out to be helpful, but in reality she is expressing her lack of acceptance of him.

These are just a few of the categories of verbal abuse. Next we will look at a number of other forms of verbal abuse.



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3.Other Forms of Verbal Abuse

http://www.cafemom.com/group/117832/forums/read/18964030/3_Other_Forms_of_Verbal_Abuse

by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 2:50 AM
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Debrowsky Debbie~Admin
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 4:36 PM

you know, I see some of this in many relationships.  a couple points I've seen come out of me and my hubby.  not good.  We were both brought low in our marriage because of not helping each other as we should.  we've come along way since then, but I still find some ugly negativity in me raising its head at moments where I feel cornered.

Purifiednloved
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 4:39 PM
BUMP!
Angels_on_Guard Mersija~Admin
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 4:42 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Debrowsky:

you know, I see some of this in many relationships.  a couple points I've seen come out of me and my hubby.  not good.  We were both brought low in our marriage because of not helping each other as we should.  we've come along way since then, but I still find some ugly negativity in me raising its head at moments where I feel cornered.

I know what you mean Debbie.

spitfire06 Beth
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 7:07 PM
Okay so how do u adress these if u are in an abusive relationship?
Angels_on_Guard Mersija~Admin
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 7:38 PM


Quoting spitfire06:

Okay so how do u adress these if u are in an abusive relationship?

http://www.cafemom.com/group/117832/forums/read/18964032/4_A_Biblical_Perspective_of_Verbal_Abuse

Click the above link to read what you can do.

RINKADINK2257 Sylvia
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:36 AM

 He cuts me off a lot. He makes comments about m y hair if it isn't combed right. He cuts me off mid -sentence when i 'm trying to talk to him. He  recently started telling me  i'm like  everyone else who has ever let him down and betrayed him. He sounds like Sonny Corinthos on '' GENERAL HOSPITAL'' when people betray him. I sometimes wonder what iever saw in him to fall in love with him.

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