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Dealing with Kids Personal Fashion Tastes

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Everyone has their own fashion sense. This is a good thing, because it allows each of us to express our own sense of creativity - and our children are certainly not left out of this. After all, who among us hasn't seen a child dressed in public, and smiled to ourselves, knowing that the child must have dressed himself? Or gone to the grocery store with a little girl wearing a tutu, tiara, frog rain boots and a super hero cape?

Sometimes, it's just not worth the battle. It doesn't matter, in the long run, if your child wears the same pants for a month - as long as you can wash them, of course - or refuses to wear the color orange.

There may be some times, though, that you have to fight the good fight. You may be going to visit grandma, and you just know that grandma will make a fuss if Junior isn't in a suit and tie. So, you have to compromise. How can you meet the fashion needs and desires of your child without squashing their individuality, and help them to stay appropriately clothed in a non attention grabbing fashion?

  • Pick your battles - Be stubborn about something else. Not everything is a battle. Is it really super important that your child go to church dressed nicely? Then maybe you can let go of the control when the child goes to the park. You can't be in charge every single time - your child has to feel a sense of autonomy in order to develop a sense of self.
  • Be willing to compromise - Sometimes, you have to let go and allow your child to wear that purple tie with a yellow shirt. Maybe you will be insistent that your daughter wear a dress, but you can let her wear brightly colored tights and boots.
  • Understand that they aren't trying to be difficult - Your child is learning to develop a sense of self and not trying to make you mad. Well, not in this instance, probably. So don't take it personally when your son tells you that your choices stink. He doesn't really mean it. (I hope.)
  • Go with the flow - It's a true testament to parenting that there's always going to be something going on, something to get annoyed about, something that will need your effort and attention. Clothing probably isn't worth it - unless it's morally offensive or completely against your ethical values, it's probably not worth the argument.

How do you help your child learn to develop a sense of style without having an enormous argument?


by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:10 PM
Replies (21-30):
by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:54 PM
I let my kids choose and they do great.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 3:58 PM

 my kids have chose their own clothes since they were about 7.

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:32 PM

OMG my boys are worse then girls. My oldest son went throught his phase and still is going through it where the only thing he wanted to wear was basketball shorts and sweat pants, or skinny jeans and thats it. My youngest has an adverstion to LIGHT colored jeans, they have to be dark or black. 

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:33 PM

My bigest fashion battel is with the oldest. When he tries to wear these hideous Purple skinny jeans with a red shirt. He KILLS me with it, and he insist it looks good.

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:35 PM

same here.

Quoting countrygirlkat:

We let them wear what they want except for on special occasions where they need to be in something specific but we keep those few and far between.  That way when we do really need that they are willing to give in since they usually get to decide. 

by New Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 5:39 PM

I agree with this. I have older children (teen and above) and a 5 year old.

Quoting mrswillie:

I let mine be their self as long as it is appropriate. I have teens.

Sue ~ Head Admin
~ D.V. Survivor/Admin

by New Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:03 PM

Our kids dress appropriate so no worries here either. =)

by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:12 PM

I let them where what ever they want as long as personal parts are covered and they are dressed for the weather.  It has to be really bad for me not to let them wear something.

by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 6:46 PM

 Picking battles, definitely.

by Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:38 PM

My so has no fashion style, he just likes dressing comfy. My dd has her own style but she and I never argue about it.  I stil lave full control over what my baby wears :)

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