Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it important to be your child's friend?

Posted by   + Show Post

Where do you draw the line between being a friend to your child and being their parent?

girl giving flower

by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 8:41 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:33 AM
2 moms liked this
When I was growing up I had a mom- she was in no way a friend to me and I didn't like talking to her about things or trusting in her.

I think it's very important to have that friendship bind with your kids so that they feel comfortable around you enough to confide in you. If course I've also seen many many moms take it to the extreme and be too much if a friend and not enough if a mom.
My kids are still young but I really hope I can find that balance.
I think you kind if have to take it one situation at a time.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Bronze Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:39 AM

my DD is still pretty young for that but i'm sure when she gets older i will find a balance

by Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 10:06 AM

  I totally agree with this! I have a seven year old dear son and this is how I want my son to be raised( to come to me for anything!). My son does know that I will get after him if I see something he does is not right but we love to have fun and joke around and tease each other. We have a lot of fun together. Like you said.. It IS a balance. Just like parenting and having fun are balanced also. My son doesn't have many friends yet (he has autism) but we are working on social manners and he is very well behaved. I get commented on a lot because of how well he behaves. :)  Good job Momma! 

Quoting Tigress74:

I am both..i have two teenage daughters and they know they can come to me for anything...even the bad stuff. And  yes, they do get disciplined when it's something that warrants it. The point is, THEY know there is a line and what is acceptable and what isn't as far as what they are allowed to do or not. They know I am both their mom and their friend so there are no questions on that. So long as we both know that, there are no problems. I have had no 'teenage rebellion' problems with them or anything like that because we TALK. That is a key issue. If they feel they can't talk to you..even if it's silly stuff, then why would they go to you for the big things? Sometimes you have to be available to be their listen. But the perk of being an adult and parent, you can give life advice too...but you have to have built that trust already. It is a balance. 

by New Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this

I am Mom first to my teenage daughter ..Teenagers need parents to guide them and teach them.. they have plenty of friends..when she grows up so will our relationship, it will go from mother and daughter to friends..but I will always be her mother first..

by Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 10:18 AM

 My mom always said, "I'm your Mom, not your friend." I subscribe to the same theory. I love my kids with all that I am, but if I'm always concerned with weather they like me at that moment or not I know I'll become very easy for them to manipulate, and they wouldn't hesitate to do so. It's human, (kid) nature. I do want them to know they can talk to me about anything and that I understand them, but it all boils down to the fact that I'm the boss and I make the rules and they need to follow them.

by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 11:01 AM
I am a parent!
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

i always heard my mom's best friend say to my mom, if my kids hate me that means i'm doing my job well.

i agree with it.

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 11:44 AM

i am friendly with my children. i don't function as a friend because the values of a friend are not the same as a parent. while i believe there is a lot of overlap, i am ultimately a parent and that is made evident on a daily basis.

my kids are little (2 and 4), so the harder stuff hasn't even come up yet. right now, the most important part of my role is to instill trust and encourage positive, responsible thinking as well as you can in little kiddoes. i will always encourage responsibility with the kids. i think too many parents slide on that one!

by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 11:49 AM


by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 12:32 PM

I'm both. My parents were always both and I feel like it greatly benefited the relationship between my brother and I and them. We've always been very close, yet we always respected them as authority and as a parent as well. I'm going to follow their example. I KNOW it's possible to be a good parent AND be a friend. :)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN