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Can divorce actually be good for your kids?

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Do you think divorce can actually be good for your kids? 

Do you think couples should avoid divorce when they have young kids?  

 

punching

by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Replies (41-50):
LauraMH
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you. I spent nearly 10 years in an abusive relationship and no matter how much he "hid" the physical abuse, the kids were still affected more than I realized. After almost a year apart, a divorce, and counseling the kids doing MUCH better.
On top of that, I am a better mom. When you are trying to protection yourself and your kids from a man that has no respect or regard for anyone if anything is emotiinally exhausting.
Even when you think you hide the horrors from your children, they know. They don't have to see. If anyone honestly thinks its better to live in that environment, then they have never lived in that environment.
Quoting specialwingz:


StarryRain
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 9:30 AM
I think after there had been valid effort in repairing the relationship, then no one should be forced to live in an unhappy home. If mom and dad aren't happy, the kids will suffer.
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funhappymom
by Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 9:48 AM

I think every marriage should be fought for and every attempt made to fix whatever is wrong. It's good for kids to see that mom and dad tried their hardest to repair their relationship. I think it's also good for kids to see parents argue sometimes too and make up.

I think the well being of the kids should always be taken into consideration. Do what is best for everyone.

Givemefive
by New Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 9:55 AM

In my case I very much believe my son is much better off with one parent who loves him and really cares for him. My ex was and probably still is an angry alcoholic, drug addicted, law breaking, loud  violent , dishonest, cheating, not there for his family person who spent all our money on his addictions. My son and I live with my parents in a very loving home. My ex gets no time with his son and he has tried to get time with him. I told the truth in court and so did my dad and they decided my Autistic, ADHD, OCD son would be better off away from his father.

I do believe that sometimes divorce is best for a child. My ex would not get the help he needed. I was willing to do what it took and support my husband while we got all the help we needed but he refused to get help and I couldn't save our relationship by myself.

sashamom03
by Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:08 AM
If it's an abusive relationship, or if one of the spouses is cheating, It really shouldn't be avoided to me just because of young children. Yelling, screaming, and using bad language. Physical abuse is a bad environment for young children. Get out asap.
jamie93
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:14 AM

Really it can go either way. I myself am a child of divorce. I remember when I was about 5 and my parents would argue and I would pray then would not get a divorce, but as I got older I understood more about the problems they were having. When I was 12 my parents divorced and I remember telling my mom that I was happier with my dad out of the house. I had stress related asthma from age 9-12. Those were the worst years of my parents marriage. Once my parents weren't together the asthma was gone, and I was a happier child.

Sandiekd21
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this

Divorce is good for kids.
If their parents do nothing but fight, the LOs are seeing that and THAT is not good for them.
But once people get over that and decide to end it, as long as they can stay on good terms and co-parent positively, then divorce it WAY better than staying together.
I would never stay with someone 'for the kids'.

SarahsAMommy
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:28 AM

Yes divorce can benefit kids! If it's physical, it could turn on the kids. Or the verbal abuse of yelling can affect a child as well. No, I don't feel you should avoid divorce if you have young kids. When my husband and I spilt, my son was just over 1. I think if anything it was easier because he didn't really know what was going on. Plus, he wasn't missing much since his dad wasn't home a lot and hardly helped anyways.

jonnlilithsmom
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:34 AM

my husband and I split up when my son was 2 1/2... we were constantly fighting, yelling, screaming... nasty words from both sides... our boy was IMMEDIATELY happier... no more nightmares, no more diapers... seemed to be the best thing for him, then we got back together... 

we stayed together till our boy was 9... when he was 11, he thanked me for leaving his dad... said dad was happier, I was happier, which made him happier... his grades got better, he made new friends... his dad actually started spending time with him... yeah, it was definately better for HIM to have his parents be apart... both times

starbeck96
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:51 AM

I agree with mydarlingsofia. I think if the parents continuously fight it is probably doing more damage to the kids than getting a divorce will. Of course, it is always best if they can stay together, without fighting.

 

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