Every time I think about the moms of the world reading E.L. James' 50 Shades of Gray and the details of Ana and Christian's relationship, it makes Salt 'N Pepper's 1992 hit "Let's Talk About Sex" start playing in my head: Let's talk about sex for now to the people at home or in the crowd, It keeps coming up anyhow, Don't decoy, avoid, or make void the topic, cuz that ain't gonna stop it, now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows.
And boy, are we talking about it, eh? At the playground or the Friday afterschool playdate, you have covered everything with your mommy friends: pap smears, darkest fears of failing and mega insecurities, your in-laws (the good and the bad), latest fashion trends...and now we are gabbing about fantasies, preferences and positions (yowzers, did I just type that?). Let's all give Andrew a virtual round of applause for sitting at the table with Joanie, his MIL, and talking about bondage, shall we?
Why? Why has this book made such a hullaballoo? Do one Google search, and you can find 183 articles (that's a low estimate) of different theories and opinions. Women read it, get a tad "hot and bothered" (as my grandma would say), and initiate "the sexy time" (as Borat would say) when they haven't done so in quite a while.
As it was hit on in the video chat, the books are all about fantasy. Just like little kiddos love to pretend, to make up the perfect world to place themselves in, so do we. 50 Shades is like a NSFW (that's "not safe for work") princess story for all of us moms. Christian is a hot, rich guy, who wants to do everything for Ana, he gives her the world, basically. And (spoiler alert), they end up all happily ever after with babies...and he's a changed man. All huge fantasies for ladies. HUGE.
As sex therapist and relationship expert Ian Kerner pointed out, our female brains have been wired to not really enjoy sex unless all of the other life stressors are shut down -- and fantasy is a big part of allowing that biological element to happen. With sososososo many women stretched to their cores with responsiblities, stress, exhaustion, 50 Shades takes us on that fantasy journey to heat up the sex life again.
I'm making a huge generalization here, but I doubt many guys are complaining if their wives are reading this and it leads to more "intimate" moments. It's no big surprise for me, really, but what I'm totally intrigued by is how we are breaking down all sorts of barriers of what we discuss and don't with people. What do you think?
Have you read 50 Shades of Gray? Did it help or hurt the romantic area of your marriage? Would you talk about sex with your mother-in-law?