We want our kids to know they’re special, but are we continually boosting their confidence so that they won't understand the value of failure? Andrew, Joanie and Chuck share great advice on how you can raise kids who know how to set goals and fight to achieve them.
Are we praising our kids too much?
I think we can definitely praise too much. I think praise should be specific - good job doing X - rather than just over the top "you're so awesome! I'm so proud of you!" when they do something. Saying "I'm proud of you" when they do one specific thing can cause them to think you aren't proud of them when they don't do it. Potty training is a good example - praise them for peeing in the potty, don't say you're proud of them because they may think you aren't proud of them when they have an accident.
I also think its good to say "tell me about it" when they tell you about something - match their level of excitement. If they got a 100% on a spelling test, but they usually do so have a 'so what' attitude, then your attitude should match that (just calmly say '"good job" and move on). If they don't normally get a 100% on spelling tests, so are excited that they did this time, then your response should be more excited, too. If you say "tell me about it", you can then gauge their excitement level & respond appropriately.
I think as a society we do. My family has lots of challenges so I think they need lots of praise to help with the negative. But they know what loosing is and that they are not always going to be first.
this. in the real world not everyone gets the job. not everyone gets the promotion. they need to learn how to lose and to lose gracefully.
Quoting tayanddyl:
I say yes we are! When kids can receive trophies/medals for being the losing team we are going too far. I think kids from this generation will struggle with defeat, and will not know how to handle being told no.
- Cafe AmyB
on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:05 PM