Advertisement
Cafemom and Target Present: Mad Life
Helping today’s parents improve their relationships, feel better about themselves and raise happy, health kids.

Can men and women be friends?

Posted by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
  • 49 Replies
1 mom liked this

Okay, who loves "When Harry met Sally?" Right, insane question as everyone I know loves the 1989 romantic comedy. The fabu flick seems to tackle a few of the questions we've been chatting about this week: flirting, cheating, interacting with the opposite sex, relationships....

There's that famous quote toward the beginning of the film, when Harry and Sally are driving from Chicago to NYC, and Harry busts out with, "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." Sally, of course, disagrees...and the whole film is kinda based on figuring out if that statement is true or not. I know it's only a movie. It's a movie where everyone is witty and has the perfect one-liners and has perfect hair days, but it brings up a good question.

My husband and I have a fantastic friendship, but that's not what this is about (that's fodder for another post!). It's about relationships with other men or other women. I have male friends, I even had what can be termed a "work husband," when I was at another job. I shared an office with a great guy, who was my "go-to person" from 9 to 5 everyday. I helped him with relationship woes and ideas for his novel, and he helped me out on everything from covering for me when I had morning sickness (and hadn't told our boss I was pregnant yet) to looking over my resume when I leaving that job. And my husband? He has a few "work wives," but actually more "work husbands," guys he calls or texts all of the time, who he's bonded with and who keep each other grooving along through the main hours of the day.

I think it's pretty healthy to have these other relationships...but really, it goes back to how your marriage is going. If there's jealousy and trust factors, maybe those outside relationships would cause issues, but that really isn't about those relationships; at the heart of it, it's about your marriage.

And I mean, wouldn't all of our marriages, our relationships, heckadoo, our lives be better if we had a great script, fabulous lighting and an awesome soundtrack? 

What do you think? Can men and women be friends in the true sense of the word, without the sex part and the attraction getting in the way? And more importantly: what is the movie soundtrack for your marriage?

©iStockphoto.com/ TimArbaev

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
peaches_04
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:39 AM
Never seen the movie
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
TigerofMu
by Gold Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:35 AM

I think that men and women can be friends, but when you get married, your ultimate loyalty is to your spouse, and opposite sex friendships that you've had in the past either need to adapt and change, or they can adversely affect your marriage.

brownhoney21
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:50 AM

 I think  men and women can be friends.

inmybizz
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree!!

Quoting TigerofMu:

I think that men and women can be friends, but when you get married, your ultimate loyalty is to your spouse, and opposite sex friendships that you've had in the past either need to adapt and change, or they can adversely affect your marriage.


louannwilkins
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:30 AM

 I definitely think men and women can be friends.  Some of the best friends I've ever had are men but I also think when you get married those friendships change.  I think the man you turn to would be your dh.  It's nice if your dh likes the guy too and everyone can be friends. 

powow65
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:41 AM
Some times yes, some times..... HELL NO! Lol
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
punchnpie
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Yes. :)
MistressMinerva
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:15 AM

Yes

corrinacs
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:21 AM

Absolutely.  I grew up with just my dad for hte most part, and by that I tend to respond to men a lot more than women. All during school, I had tons of guy friends.  I would never have dated any of them, but we would defintely goof off (not what you are thinkign LOL) all the time :).

gmadiane
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:54 AM

I think so

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN