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Can men and women be friends?

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Okay, who loves "When Harry met Sally?" Right, insane question as everyone I know loves the 1989 romantic comedy. The fabu flick seems to tackle a few of the questions we've been chatting about this week: flirting, cheating, interacting with the opposite sex, relationships....

There's that famous quote toward the beginning of the film, when Harry and Sally are driving from Chicago to NYC, and Harry busts out with, "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." Sally, of course, disagrees...and the whole film is kinda based on figuring out if that statement is true or not. I know it's only a movie. It's a movie where everyone is witty and has the perfect one-liners and has perfect hair days, but it brings up a good question.

My husband and I have a fantastic friendship, but that's not what this is about (that's fodder for another post!). It's about relationships with other men or other women. I have male friends, I even had what can be termed a "work husband," when I was at another job. I shared an office with a great guy, who was my "go-to person" from 9 to 5 everyday. I helped him with relationship woes and ideas for his novel, and he helped me out on everything from covering for me when I had morning sickness (and hadn't told our boss I was pregnant yet) to looking over my resume when I leaving that job. And my husband? He has a few "work wives," but actually more "work husbands," guys he calls or texts all of the time, who he's bonded with and who keep each other grooving along through the main hours of the day.

I think it's pretty healthy to have these other relationships...but really, it goes back to how your marriage is going. If there's jealousy and trust factors, maybe those outside relationships would cause issues, but that really isn't about those relationships; at the heart of it, it's about your marriage.

And I mean, wouldn't all of our marriages, our relationships, heckadoo, our lives be better if we had a great script, fabulous lighting and an awesome soundtrack? 

What do you think? Can men and women be friends in the true sense of the word, without the sex part and the attraction getting in the way? And more importantly: what is the movie soundtrack for your marriage?

© TimArbaev

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Replies (41-49):
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:59 AM


by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:06 PM

I think so but after marriage your loyalties are to your spouse.

by Gold Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Yes I do think they can be friends. 

by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:22 PM

yes, men and women can be just friends

by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:57 PM
Of course.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:02 PM

I am still friends with my guy friends that i met before hubby, but I don't really have any new ones I've made that I'd chat with or see in person.

by Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:05 PM

Oh hell. If they can't, then I'm a big ol' ho.

by Gold Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:34 PM

I think men and women can be friends, but like you said, it was at work.  I'm not sure if a man and woman should be alone together as friends, especially if you are married.  In my husband's culture, friendships between men and women are forbidden.

by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:31 PM

I do think that men and woman can be friends but it goes back to the same thing as the flirting thing.  If any part of your friendship with a person of the opposite sex is something you wouldn't feel comfortable with your spouse knowing about or your spouse wouldn't feel comfortable if they knew about then that friendship isn't okay and isn't worth risking your marriage over. 

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