As I've mentioned in the many posts I've written here at CafeMom, we live in a tiny apartment in New York City. We have guys in the building who help when the bathtub isn't draining or if the AC starts leaking. For all of the usual "handy guy" things, we have a team of dudes to be handy for us, so my guy doesn't have to be handy.
He is handy though, yet, in some ways I am handier. Case in point, one of our front door locks had been jammed. For weeks, we both reminded each other about five times that "we need to tell the guys downstairs." Then one day, I just was looking t it and thought, "Hmmmmm, I think I know what's wrong." One screwdriver and 5 minutes later, the lock was fixed.
My guy? He was very impressed, but he's used to it. I take it on myself to take care of more "manly" things. Put together IKEA furniture? Check! Take out the trash? Check! Just as he has many facets and many abilities, so do I...and he has a right to want me to have it both in me, just as I want him to be both sensitive and strong.
Do I sometimes want him to do more of the manly things, mainly because other certain tasks fall to me (like packing the lunch and doing the homemade gifts for the teachers)? Sure. And he does (see yesterday's post where I list all of his manly attributes). As society has evolved from 1950s mentality that women can only cook and clean, while men can only deal with the yard and earn the money, so have our relationships and the "standard" we all aspire and hold each other to be. We are both more complex and equal...and as a result, the "typical" responsibilities are a tad muddled.
And really, sometimes, we are both too tired to do whatever manly thing it is in question that needs to be done, so we leave it for tomorrow...and that's okay too.
Do you feel you could be "stronger"? Does you husband like it when you tackle some typically "manly" things?