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Ask Joanie: Is Divorce Ever Good for Kids? SWEEPS WINNER ANNOUNCED

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Congratulations to our mom, aneela, for winning the sweepstakes!  

The Mad Life Panel tackles a tough question: Is divorce ever good for kids?

We're thrilled that Mad Life's very own Joanie Robach, will be joining us in the group to answer YOUR questions on this important topic, and to share her personal observations and experiences!

Check out the Mad Life episode below, then ask Joanie your questions.  Joanie will be joining us next week to share her answers!  Every member who submits a question in the replies below will be entered to win a $50 Target gift card!

Thanks for joining us, Joanie!

Click to learn more about Mad Life panelist, Joanie Robach.

Joanie's answers begin HERE

Giveaway rules:

  • The Ask Joanie giveaway starts 1/7/13 at 12pm (ET) and ends 1/20/2013 at midnight (ET) (the "Giveaway Period").
  • Enter by replying to this post with an appropriate comment during the Giveaway Period.
  • Multiple entries are permitted and encouraged, as it increases your chances of winning.
  • One winner will be selected in a random drawing of all eligible entries to receive a $50 gift card to Target.
  • The random drawing shall occur on or about 1/21/13.
  • No Purchase Necessary.
  • Open to US, DC, and PR residents 16 years and older.
  • Void where prohibited. Click here for the rest of the Official Rules.
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:34 PM
Replies (91-100):
by New Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:34 AM
What is the best way to deal with a stepparent that hates you and does everything to ruin your life, threatened your life, but your birthparent won't do anything about it?
by New Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 6:48 AM

GM I do think divorce does effect the kids because in my familyI've seen how sad the kids are but what about kids that their parents were never married but current wife 25 yrs was a part of their life when little but lost touch thru the years  now grown HOW DO WE CONNECT AGAIN??

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:28 AM

Quoting abra:

I think a big part of the problem (and Chuck mentioned this and Joanie seemed to agree) is that if a couple is actually able to co-parent well after their divorce, then a divorce is unnecessary in the first place. One of the greatest misconceptions about love is that if it doesn't come easily, it isn't true love. I came from a divorced home. My parents had 6 kids and then divorced after 29 years. Personally, I have been married for 8 1/2, and monogamous with my DH for 11 years. The biggest thing marriage has taught me is that a good marriage is work. The more you put into your marriage together, the better your marriage is. Nothing worth having in this world comes easily. I do think a lot of people enter into marriage casually (using divorce as a plan b if the marriage doesn't work out) which is a mistake. You are much less likely to work through a situation if you have one foot out the door. Be serious. Commit to your relationship. Do everything in your power to make your marriage work. True love is willing to work at your relationship.

Divorce is hard on kids no matter how old they are or what the reasons behind it are! Divorce should always be the final defeat after attempting every other avenue to preserve and strengthen the marriage.

I respectfully disagree.  My parents co-parented well after their divorce but divorce WAS necesassary, not only for them but for us kids as well.  The fighting, the "silent treatment" really took a toll on all of us.  My dad ended up hospitalized for mental breakdowns 3 separate times.  One of the happiest days of my life was when we found they were finally separating and divorcing.  They got along after the divorce, but that still doesn't mean they should have stayed married making everyone in the house as miserable as they were.  Sometimes, divorce is for the best.

by New Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:40 AM

First I wanted to say, YAY the drawling is going to occur on my Birthday!!! lol 1/21/13

I am curious, do you think divorce is the same emotionally for a child, if your not married, and have only been with that same person for 6-7 years?  I dont really know how to explain it lol, but if you were with someone for a long time and are not married?  or is it more emotional damage to a chid if you are in fact married and get a divorce? I am curious bc my mother and father were togeher for 12 yrs but never married, when they split, it felt as if they were divorcing lol.

by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Joanie, did you feel that one parent tried extra hard to make you feel better when you were with them? Is there anything yu wish either parent had done differently?
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:07 AM

What are some good ways to support a friend who is divorced from an abusive man (and remarried to a good man) who still has to let her daughter spend time with her dad?

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:38 PM

Great question.  Letting your child know that Mom and Dad love them more than anything in the world is a good place to start.  Make sure they understand they had nothing to do with the divorce and that no matter what, you will always be their mom/dad.  Give them lots of hugs, kisses, and general physical contact - even teenagers who cringe at your touch (I remember these days) crave physical closeness.  I promise.  Also, talk, talk, talk, talk.  The biggest mistake I've noticed is when parents say the kids are fine and don't want to talk about it.  Do it anyway! They are burying painful emotions (like grown ups) and need to have them expressed.   J

Quoting inmybizz:

It depends on the home situation, but divorce could be the best thing for the child.

My question-what are some things that can be done to reassure a child that everything will be okay even though the parents are divorcing?

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:40 PM

Quoting aidensmomma508:

Joanie Is there a way to support other family members kids whose parents are going through a divorce and how do you without butting in?

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:04 PM

If a spouse is abusive then yes it would be good for a child to get away from that.

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:09 PM
2 moms liked this

Why don't people take their vows seriously anymore? Divorce happens for so many reasons, but a common one I hear now is, I just wasn't happy any more. It seems to be a the grass is always greener issue, to me. Fix it! Make yourself happy! Go on a trip, reconnect with your spouse.

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