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Ask Joanie: Is Divorce Ever Good for Kids? SWEEPS WINNER ANNOUNCED

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Congratulations to our mom, aneela, for winning the sweepstakes!  

The Mad Life Panel tackles a tough question: Is divorce ever good for kids?

We're thrilled that Mad Life's very own Joanie Robach, will be joining us in the group to answer YOUR questions on this important topic, and to share her personal observations and experiences!

Check out the Mad Life episode below, then ask Joanie your questions.  Joanie will be joining us next week to share her answers!  Every member who submits a question in the replies below will be entered to win a $50 Target gift card!


Thanks for joining us, Joanie!

Click to learn more about Mad Life panelist, Joanie Robach.

Joanie's answers begin HERE


Giveaway rules:

  • The Ask Joanie giveaway starts 1/7/13 at 12pm (ET) and ends 1/20/2013 at midnight (ET) (the "Giveaway Period").
  • Enter by replying to this post with an appropriate comment during the Giveaway Period.
  • Multiple entries are permitted and encouraged, as it increases your chances of winning.
  • One winner will be selected in a random drawing of all eligible entries to receive a $50 gift card to Target.
  • The random drawing shall occur on or about 1/21/13.
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by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:34 PM
Replies (191-200):
kirbymom
by Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:39 AM

I wholeheartedly concur.  But only if there really is no other solution and all of the other solutions have been exhausted in their attempt to try their best first.  

Thanks for taking the time to answer my question.  :)  

Quoting MadLife_Joanie:

If children are living in a home where there is tremendous turmoil and stress, and they're seeing and hearing things a child shouldn't.  Living in a home with a single parent without the drama sounds like a much healthier environment.  J

Quoting kirbymom:

Hi Joanie.  :)  Thanks for coming and speacking with us.  

What would you consider some positives to be from a divorce with children? 



jessicasmom1
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:56 PM

How does one get a child to respect a soon to be step parent? She is soon to be 13 years old and SO been in our life for 2 years when she starts to get to know a person she gets mouthy to them.

jenC1978
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:56 PM

Yes, my father was a drunk and my mom left him when I was 5 years old.  Best thing she ever did.  I didn't have to live in a house with a drunk father my whole life.  I am thankful she had the guts to get us the hell out of there!

Sweet_Carol_126
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:25 PM

if a parent is abusive or knocks around Mom or is an alcoholic, or if the parents argue all the time, then the kids may be better off with parents divorced as they may have peace then and not have all the drama going on.  There are also some parents who play the kids and kids who play the parents or manipulate them.  That is not good.  There are some times when a divorce is better.  Howeer, if the parents have a good relationship with the kids and it is not a very negative situation with one another it might be better to stay together for the kids.  However, parents deserve a life and happiness too.  Good luck to you all..

muzzyh
by New Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:25 PM

My kids' well being-- and the thought of what their future relationships would be like if I stayed-- were a very big factor in my asking for a divorce. So, yeah, I think in my case divorce is good for my kids. 

Sweet_Carol_126
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 8:31 PM

Make sure that te 13 year old understands that you and her father are not going to get back together. Let r know that it has nothing to do with her but is between the two of you.  Ask her if there is any reason she does not like the SO.  Some children are molested by SO's so besure you really know him and listen to your daughter.  She should not be hanging onto him or him on her.  You need to do the discipline with her. She does need to be respectful as she should be with any adult.  Don't ask her to like it.  Try to let her have yur attention by having time just with you and her.  Good luck with you.  Stop her when she gets smart mouthed though do listen to what she has to say.  Tell her that the smart mouth is not acceptable.  But he should not get smart mouthed with her either.  Stepkids are a big part of 2nd marriages breaking up.  So the kids do have to be reasonable or expect consequences.  Just keep your ears open to listen to what she is saying. 

lildjc84
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:07 PM

II believe it really depends on the age of the kids. My first divorce my son was 2 yrs old. It was really hard because he got custody of our son and when I would get him and have to take him back to his dad"s it would break my heart because my son never wanted to go back to his dad's. My 2nd divorce my son was a teenager and he understood because his dad treated us like crap. Alot of emotional and mental abuse. I gave my son a choice, if he wanted to move out with me or live with his dad. He thought it over a few days and he decided he would have a better life with me. My son has been my rock. He wasn't very happy about moving to where we are now and I told him if he doesn't like it he can move with his dad. He chose to stay with me.  AMEN.

HolisticMama
by New Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:51 AM
1 mom liked this

I've been going through the divorce process for almost two years.  When we seperated our kids were 6, 4 and 1 years old.  I didn't want to give them unnecessary details and was trying to protect them from their father's ugly side.  I just told them we could no longer get along and we would be happier in seperate homes.  The kids were obviously devastated.  Since then my now 6 year old tells me he knows his dad is mean to me and that's why we aren't a family.  He also says his dad isn't truthfull and lies to me.  It breaks my heart that he is seeing his dads ugly side at such a young age. 

We still can't get along for the kids sake.  The kids are so young and I don't want this to negatively affect them.  We have tried counseling and it didn't work.  Is there anything else I can do to help him see this isn't good for the kids? 

Nena70
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 2:46 AM
1 mom liked this

Divorce is good for the kids when they have witnessed enough of one parent not being a good person , being abusive or disrespectful.  Children are entitled  to be safe and protected and live in peaceful home.

Me and my kids can attest to this.

zumbafreak11
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:32 PM

I know there's a lot of controversy over this one.  If mom's in an abusive relationship physically, verbally and/or emotionally, then I think that it is good for the child(ren) to get the hell out of the relationship and that's coming from a divorcee of 5 1/2 years.  I'm sure there's some emotional trauma that my daughter suffered, but she was 21 months old at the time of the divorce.  I was tired of constantly having to walk on egg shells around my ex-husband verbally abused me.  It would have been much worse if I'd stayed.  My daughter would have grown up thinking that all men treat the women they love like that and went looking for that kind of man for her husband and father to her children.  That isn't the life I want for my daughter and future grandchildren.

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