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Ask Joanie: Is Divorce Ever Good for Kids? SWEEPS WINNER ANNOUNCED

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Congratulations to our mom, aneela, for winning the sweepstakes!  

The Mad Life Panel tackles a tough question: Is divorce ever good for kids?

We're thrilled that Mad Life's very own Joanie Robach, will be joining us in the group to answer YOUR questions on this important topic, and to share her personal observations and experiences!

Check out the Mad Life episode below, then ask Joanie your questions.  Joanie will be joining us next week to share her answers!  Every member who submits a question in the replies below will be entered to win a $50 Target gift card!

Thanks for joining us, Joanie!

Click to learn more about Mad Life panelist, Joanie Robach.

Joanie's answers begin HERE

Giveaway rules:

  • The Ask Joanie giveaway starts 1/7/13 at 12pm (ET) and ends 1/20/2013 at midnight (ET) (the "Giveaway Period").
  • Enter by replying to this post with an appropriate comment during the Giveaway Period.
  • Multiple entries are permitted and encouraged, as it increases your chances of winning.
  • One winner will be selected in a random drawing of all eligible entries to receive a $50 gift card to Target.
  • The random drawing shall occur on or about 1/21/13.
  • No Purchase Necessary.
  • Open to US, DC, and PR residents 16 years and older.
  • Void where prohibited. Click here for the rest of the Official Rules.
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:34 PM
Replies (71-80):
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:34 AM

whats the best way to help a child throw a divorce if there really is a good way

by Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:39 AM

My question is how do you get your ex's mom to back off?

My ex and I do pretty good going back and forth but his mom underminds me and makes nasty comments about me.

by New Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:06 AM

It all depends on the situation. In mine, the kids are tired of the fighting. So for them it is a good situation for us to divorce. They need to know that fighting like that is not normal in a marriage. I want my kids to know love and not war in the home. If it is just a marriage where the parents are no longer "feeling it" then they need to decide if this is best for their kids. In the end it is always what is best for the kids, not what the parents want!

by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Do your bio children get jealous when you try to treat your step-children exactly as well as you treat them? Do the bio children feel that you should be giving preference to themselves?
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:26 AM
I just went through one. It was final in August. My son was 3. He turns 4 this month. I had to put my sons needs in front of what I wanted. He was and is more important.

Personally I think it depends on the parents situations of why it's necessary. My ex was abusive to me and my son. Children don't ask to be born, you created them. In certain situations a divorce is best but not all.
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:28 AM
When the parents live in different states,how is it best to let the child keep there relationship with the other parent?
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by New Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:31 AM
Absolutely agree!!

Quoting emilyrosenj:

I agree with this!  Also, I don't think divorce is ever easy for kids but how well they do afterwards has a lot to do with how the parents treat each other!

Quoting abra:

I think a big part of the problem (and Chuck mentioned this and Joanie seemed to agree) is that if a couple is actually able to co-parent well after their divorce, then a divorce is unnecessary in the first place. One of the greatest misconceptions about love is that if it doesn't come easily, it isn't true love. I came from a divorced home. My parents had 6 kids and then divorced after 29 years. Personally, I have been married for 8 1/2, and monogamous with my DH for 11 years. The biggest thing marriage has taught me is that a good marriage is work. The more you put into your marriage together, the better your marriage is. Nothing worth having in this world comes easily. I do think a lot of people enter into marriage casually (using divorce as a plan b if the marriage doesn't work out) which is a mistake. You are much less likely to work through a situation if you have one foot out the door. Be serious. Commit to your relationship. Do everything in your power to make your marriage work. True love is willing to work at your relationship.

Divorce is hard on kids no matter how old they are or what the reasons behind it are! Divorce should always be the final defeat after attempting every other avenue to preserve and strengthen the marriage.

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by New Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:32 AM
Joanie- what do you feel are the advantages And disadvantages of 50/50 placement for kids of divorced parents?
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by New Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:34 AM

I think it depends on the situtation. In my opinion no one really wins in a divorce. Someone is always going to be hurt somehow. It's what you do during and after that really counts. I can say for sure that staying together for the kids is a really bad idea. My ex and I were seperated for many years before I got a divorce and now looking back it was the worst thing. My ex and were pretty good about co parenting etc while seperated but I think it really kept us all in limbo. There was no real stability. My boys are 19 and 23 and are have/having many issues still.

by New Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:40 AM

My question: How do you help your older children (19 and 23) cope now that they are older and have realized that their father wasn't so great after all (not saying I have been talking bad about him) including an ongoing affair that helped break up their parents marriage?

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