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Where is your biggest privacy issue: online or in the potty?

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We were over at a friend's house, and my mommy bud had just got a new smart phone (her old one had been cracked for a year). The whiz at the store had accidentally linked up her and her hubby's text messages (they had a family plan, but still not sure exactly how the dude did this). So, her husband was trying to separate the accounts, so he wouldn't get all of her texts (many from yours truly). At one point, we all joked about how this would be really bad if either of them were having an affair...we laughed, knowing it wasn't true...but it brought to the table the whole issue of privacy and spouses.

There are soooooo many ways we are separate, my husband and me -- separate email accounts, Facebook, twitter, texts, cell phones...we really lead separate "technological lives." And you can have a plethora of all of these things like Chuck said...which means many opportunities to hide (and snoop) and lines where privacy can be crossed. When is it "okay" to be private and when do you share?

I mean, is there is an unwritten rule that you could look at your spouse's email or texts...but you don't out of that huge thing called trust? I think that is the way my husband and I work through it. We could if we wanted to, but don't, as we trust each other and do not feel the need to pry. That's how we kind of steer the privacy boat in our abode. I admit, though,I have looked at my husband's email (the horror!) -- because it was left open, and I had to send pictures of the kiddo from his computer to mine. But I've never checked his phone even though I know I could if I wanted to...

Yet I have walked in on him going to the bathroom. Many times, more than I could count.Ah, the bathroom. An arena where my family has no "walls" as Dr. Ian put it. Do you do "your business" (poop? wax? floss? pluck?) in front of your spouse or do you keep the door shut? 

Soooooo many different privacy issues...what privacy issues do you and your spouse deal with? Email? Phones? Bathroom? 

© benoitb

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:21 AM

My hubby doesn't deal with any privacy issues. I on the other hand, it's the bathroom.

by Silver Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:55 AM

Quoting momofsixangels:

The bathroom.It never fails I take a bath and someone bothers me

Lmao! Yup

by Silver Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:55 AM

Quoting natesmom1228:

My hubby doesn't deal with any privacy issues. I on the other hand, it's the bathroom.

I'm thinking its a mom thing!

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:56 AM

Quoting arpazia:


Quoting natesmom1228:

My hubby doesn't deal with any privacy issues. I on the other hand, it's the bathroom.

I'm thinking its a mom thing!

Yep, must be

by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:22 PM

probably the bathroom....i cannot escape the kids

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:35 PM
We know each others passwords. I admit there's times I've looked at his phone. Not out of being afraid he's doing something just boredom. I'm at home with kids and don't have very much interaction with others and he gets texts from friends all day.
Bathroom I have absolutely no privacy at all from kids or husband when he's home
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by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 1:11 PM
Privacy isn't necessary between a husband and wife. We don't follow each other into the bathroom or anything, but we have 4 kids so someone has to be keeping an eye on them! lol! Like I said before, the pooing in front of your spouse would be odd, that isn't really an issue because bodily function privacy and technological privacy are not the same thing. There is no danger in going to the bathroom by yourself, unless you are hiding a mistress in the shower. Online privacy can lead to all sorts of unfaithful behavior and it is as easy as a click of the button.

Again, trust is earned. If you are in a new relationship, I think sharing all your accounts is a good idea. Public computers, shared passwords, they are all a good idea to get the couple into good fidelity habits and keep one another accountable without it being awkward. As the relationship grows, and monogamous patterns have been established, baby steps, if you want too, although it's not unhealthy just to keep it all very open. DH and I have separate email accounts but we share our passwords and it isn't uncommon for him to use mine or I'll use his, depending on the situation. Often our laptops are used in common areas. I don't usually feel the need to check his messages but if I did, I would have every right to and vis versa. Getting married is not only the agreement to merge into one person, it is giving yourself wholly to the other person. No real secrets allowed!
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by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 3:03 PM

He has trust issues with me going  on the  Internet  from a mistake I made in 2004. I don't think he  worries about it now, but in the back of his mind, it still does bother him.

We pee in front of each other, but that'sit. We don't want any part of seeing each other go # 2.

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:29 PM

My hubby used to have a thing that I couldn't open his mail pick up his phone or read his emails.  I told him if that was the case, he had something to hide.  He's eased up since then but I still can't open his mail!

by Silver Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 5:05 PM

We just leave the bathroom door open (my DH, DS and I share one) and my FIL has his own bathroom.

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