I'd say there was a time, a few years ago, when it seemed every couple around my husband and me were getting divorced. I grew up knowing many friends with divorced parents. My kiddo knows friends and cousins with divorced parents. I wouldn't wish divorce on any family, but with 50% of marriages ending up splitting up, everyone is more aware of it and there definitely isn't a taboo element anymore...and we've come a long way from the era of "staying together for the kids" method of thinking.
But still, it is tough. This is a biggie, no? Anytime something rocks a kiddo's foundation, shatters what they thought was a sure thing is huge and hefty. But being around an unhealthy relationship or in a home life that is depressive or stress-filled or with constant fighting, as Dr. Markham (love her!) mentions in the video? All of these things are not good for a kid, let alone for the adults.
How does divorce affect kids? I doubt any of us can answer that except from our own experiences and own specific situations. Probably, if it is handled properly and in a whatever healthy way by the adults so that the kids can feel secure during this insecure event, it can become an okay, solidly fine situation. I've seen families -- moms, dads and kids -- better off after a divorce than before it. Does that mean everything is roses and butterflies? Heckadoo, no...there will be tough conversations, hard compromises for sure...and those won't be stopping anytime soon for them.
I like the good doctor's point about how your kids have to have good relationships with the main adults in their lives...and what we as the parents have to do (or not do) to achieve that. I can only imagine how difficult it must be. Many a divorced parent I talk to says splitting up with her spouse comes with other problems and issues, yet, still, in the end, divorce was the best choice for their family.
What are your thoughts? Are you divorced? Do you know families that have gone through divorce? How did it affect the kids?