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Do you argue in front of your kids?

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Sometimes, my husband and I argue. We have disagreements (usually about the garbage or refilling the Brita or what is on TV)...and these oft times happen in front of our kiddo. Is that bad? I don't necessarily think so... because we purposely "fight fair." It is something we set out at the beginning of our marriage. Meaning no screaming, no hitting, no name-calling, staying on the topic at hand, apologizing when you've hurt someone else's feelings, that kind of thing.

Now, do our voices become raised and take on a different tone? Sure. We usually end up laughing, but we make sure to tell Kiddo, "Hey, we are having a disagreement on XYZ." We go on and say that we love each other and are happy with each other...but even with someone you love, you can disagree at times.

I'm told over and over that we are the main models for our kids when it comes to eating and manners. So I like to think that this teaches her how relationships work, how to safely and honestly express feelings and opinions in a respectful way with someone you love. That is a valuable skill to learn right? We all know there will be time you may disagree with a friend, a loved one, a family member. That it happens sometimes in relationships. And that is okay...when done in a healthy way. And she will, hopefully, be able to know if someone doesn't treat her respectfully, that that isn't okay or a good relationship.

At least that is my hope. Dang, it is hard, isn't it? Navigating this whole element of your relationship and how it impacts your kids.

Do you argue in front of your kids? How has your relationship with your spouse changed since having kids? 

Š timsa

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (51-56):
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:48 AM

 No, we leave the room if we need to have a heated discussion or wait until the kids are not around.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:49 AM

We don't loudly argue, but we have butted heads a few times. We don't yell at each other, we just talk. I think it is good for kids to see the proper way to resolve conflict. 

by Silver Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:02 AM

Our relationship has definitely changed but we don't really argue, and if we did we would not do it in front of our son.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 12:32 PM

Sometimes. We try as hard as we can to not have a fight in front of our son though. He gets really upset when he hears raised voices. He thinks that he has done something wrong when he hears a raised or very stern voice. 

Our relationship has actually gotten better since we've had our son. I'm not sure why, but I do know that our relationship is stronger now than it has been before. Probably because we both work on it all the time now. So that we don't raise our voices in the presence of our son. 

I won't hesitate to raise my voice to anyone else in front of my son though. Because the only reason I do that is to protect my son from someone being insensitive towards him. 

by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:45 AM

We rarely argue and if we do? Its private.

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:35 PM



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