Sometimes, my husband and I argue. We have disagreements (usually about the garbage or refilling the Brita or what is on TV)...and these oft times happen in front of our kiddo. Is that bad? I don't necessarily think so... because we purposely "fight fair." It is something we set out at the beginning of our marriage. Meaning no screaming, no hitting, no name-calling, staying on the topic at hand, apologizing when you've hurt someone else's feelings, that kind of thing.
Now, do our voices become raised and take on a different tone? Sure. We usually end up laughing, but we make sure to tell Kiddo, "Hey, we are having a disagreement on XYZ." We go on and say that we love each other and are happy with each other...but even with someone you love, you can disagree at times.
I'm told over and over that we are the main models for our kids when it comes to eating and manners. So I like to think that this teaches her how relationships work, how to safely and honestly express feelings and opinions in a respectful way with someone you love. That is a valuable skill to learn right? We all know there will be time you may disagree with a friend, a loved one, a family member. That it happens sometimes in relationships. And that is okay...when done in a healthy way. And she will, hopefully, be able to know if someone doesn't treat her respectfully, that that isn't okay or a good relationship.
At least that is my hope. Dang, it is hard, isn't it? Navigating this whole element of your relationship and how it impacts your kids.
Do you argue in front of your kids? How has your relationship with your spouse changed since having kids?
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We don't really fight. I usually get mad about something, tell him what I think, he responds & its over. My boys don't really like it when I get mad, though.
If we need to discuss something, we do it when they aren't around.
There's nothing wrong with it. Mommy and daddy can't always agree.
We have argued in front of our kids but have toned it down a lot.
Unfortuntely we do argue in front of the kids. We have no time to ourselves. I got pregnant soon after marriage so we have never really had husband and wife time, just during the time I was pregnant lol
My husband is a drama king , so he argues only when there are people around. I know it sounds wierd. But he has to let everyone know our business. Including our son. Its kinda frustrating. He needs the attention. Its hard because I don't want him to hear any of our arguments. Even though they typically are not extreme or that bad, it still should stay between us.
- HeatherNYC
on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM