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Do you argue in front of your kids?

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Sometimes, my husband and I argue. We have disagreements (usually about the garbage or refilling the Brita or what is on TV)...and these oft times happen in front of our kiddo. Is that bad? I don't necessarily think so... because we purposely "fight fair." It is something we set out at the beginning of our marriage. Meaning no screaming, no hitting, no name-calling, staying on the topic at hand, apologizing when you've hurt someone else's feelings, that kind of thing.

Now, do our voices become raised and take on a different tone? Sure. We usually end up laughing, but we make sure to tell Kiddo, "Hey, we are having a disagreement on XYZ." We go on and say that we love each other and are happy with each other...but even with someone you love, you can disagree at times.

I'm told over and over that we are the main models for our kids when it comes to eating and manners. So I like to think that this teaches her how relationships work, how to safely and honestly express feelings and opinions in a respectful way with someone you love. That is a valuable skill to learn right? We all know there will be time you may disagree with a friend, a loved one, a family member. That it happens sometimes in relationships. And that is okay...when done in a healthy way. And she will, hopefully, be able to know if someone doesn't treat her respectfully, that that isn't okay or a good relationship.

At least that is my hope. Dang, it is hard, isn't it? Navigating this whole element of your relationship and how it impacts your kids.

Do you argue in front of your kids? How has your relationship with your spouse changed since having kids? 

©iStockphoto.com/ timsa

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (31-40):
dusky_rose
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:01 PM

Sometimes we do argue in front of our DS, but usually we try to go into another room to do so.


timon95
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:00 PM

we do sometimes. we try not to, but they always seem to show up asking for something when we are arguing.

sweetmissy_05
by Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 8:01 PM

No we try not to.  

Bmat
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:35 PM

We have disagreements in front of the kids, but never heated arguments.   Our relationship stayed about the same.

Charizma77
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:16 PM

Guilty! We don't argue often but we have infront of the kids. We have also made up infront of the kids and we show a lot of effection infront of them as well.

Bob192
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:32 PM

Sometimes, but we try not to.

Kays_boys
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:35 PM

We have argued in front of our kids and working on changing that. I'm noticing my oldest arguing with my youngest like if it was me and my husband.

Trixi.VonLace
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:41 PM
We do, not important arguments but little disagreements. I think its a good thing for them to see, it teaches them that disagreements happen and how you handle them is important and that marriage isn't always sunshine and rainbows, that it takes work and compromise.
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Wish2Be
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:49 PM

I do not...I refuse to, but I think maybe I should simply because DH takes that as the perfect opportunity to say whatever he wants because he knows I refuse to argue with him in front of our son.

Wish2Be
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:57 PM


Quoting Trixi.VonLace:

We do, not important arguments but little disagreements. I think its a good thing for them to see, it teaches them that disagreements happen and how you handle them is important and that marriage isn't always sunshine and rainbows, that it takes work and compromise.

You are exactly right !

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