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What would you do need some advice somewhere to turn to..

I don't even know where to begin some days.

We get up at 4:30 AM to leave for work by 5:30 PM.

We both have to be to work at 6 but I get off at 1:30. (We live 15 miles from town so driving home at the cost of gas and I already put a ton of miles on my car weekly is out.)

Anyway our daughter gets out of school at 3:15 which isn't a problem well sort of it's cold out and I really would like to just come home but that can't happen as stated above.

Where in lies the problem of 3 days a week my dad does dialysis. He gets out anywhere from 2- now I hear starting Monday it will be after 4 and probably closer to 4:30.

Now, I don't know how I became care giver for our dad. I have a brother that lives at home getting married in April he's 37, he works also, he's the baby I am the oldest. We have another brother that lives too far away and a sister that has MS so no help with those 2 at all.

So how do I just stop going to get my dad and make sure he is ok and get him home. To get him home I have to go to the end of town I live on yet I still live 8 miles from there and follow my dad home which is on the other side of town another 8 miles the other direction.

I am tired and I just want to know if it's bad of me not to want to do this 3 days a week. Why or how did I become solely responsible for my dad's medical yet my brother gets his name on everything my dad owns. He can write checks on my dad's account his name is on the house, & the cars, insurance etc yet I feel like I am doing all the work for my dad and I clean for my dad also when I take him home.My dad is also getting a settlement from breaking his knee and he's putting that into my brothers name only. That made me really mad.

I also need to say he is by his self all the time unless he is at dialysis where he is around people.I am sure just sitting and watching TV day after day gets pretty boring. He is crazy about my 11 yr old and he wants to see her.

How do I get out of doing this 3 days a week. I don't want to come home at 5 at night if I wanted to do that I would have a 8-5 job.

Help I need answers.

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 5:49 PM
Replies (21-24):
Basherte
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't stop helping your day, but I would see if you can get a little help with it. That way it isn't all on your shoulders. Even if the help comes from someone who isn't family.


emilyrosenj
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:45 AM

I'm in the same boat.  4 of my brothers live too far away and the one that lives with my parents doesn't help much.  I just take it as the place God has for me right now.  I really don't want them to leave me anything because they have given me so much through life and experiences.  My dad was not the greatest dad either but I love him and my mom, I'm so grateful to still have them and I will do anything within reason for them.

Moms_Angels1960
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:07 PM


Quoting emilyrosenj:

I'm in the same boat.  4 of my brothers live too far away and the one that lives with my parents doesn't help much.  I just take it as the place God has for me right now.  I really don't want them to leave me anything because they have given me so much through life and experiences.  My dad was not the greatest dad either but I love him and my mom, I'm so grateful to still have them and I will do anything within reason for them.

Thanks for your comments. I don't want anything either it's just that I m the oldest and I feel like it should be all of us that have a say not just my baby brother. My dad frankly has nothing worth anything much anyway. Maybe his coin collection but his house is junk it needs to be torn down the truck he drives he's wrecked so many thimes. His furniture is junk.

I have been in this place for 12 yrs now since my mom left him and I don't want to be anymore. I am Thankful for both my parents but I just don't think it's all my job to take care of my dad when my brother lives there and I don't.

jessicasmom1
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:42 PM

I to am a care taker of my ill elderly father . Some days not enough time in the day to get done what needs to be but all in the end I know how he is getting treated and doing that I feel is my responsibility as him being one of my parents. 

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