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Are you in a relationship rut?

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Quiz time: after you get the kids to bed, what do you and your husband do? Do a little pick-up and then crash on the couch? Is it basically the same thing five nights a week at least? Yeah, that's a relationship rut and I have been in one, many of my mommy friends say the same thing. Maybe there is a date night thrown in here or there, but you talk about the same things day in and day out.

You didn't have a rut when you were dating, but things have changed, marriages evolve, so we can't expect it to be just like when we first got together, but that doesn't mean you have to be in a blocked pattern of behavior. All of the relationship gurus say mini changes can really make your relationship fresh and lively again.

-- Do one little thing a day to give a smile to your spouse. Whether you text him a funny joke or shoot him an email to a hilariously insane cat video, just break up each other's day with a grin.

-- Remember why you fell in love. Think about how he attracted you with his wit or his mad basketball skills or his quirky way he would bring you flowers.

-- Do something different. Play Checkers or Scrabble once a week. Go to a concert. Read the same book and talk about it. Something small and simple can liven up anything.

-- Ask something different. Instead of the usual talk about the kids or work, ask something new. Can be anything from thoughts on world events or what he thinks about aliens -- just inject some new conversation topics into your daily communication and see what you find out about each other.

Do you ever feel in a relationship rut with your spouse? How to you shake things up?

© sguler

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 5:25 PM
All the time. He normally goes to bed before I get the kids to sleep so I never get time with him :( and he hates habit anyone babysit the kids, so we never normally get a break
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by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 5:48 PM

yes it happens

by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:43 PM

I think we do get that way. It helps if you can have someone watch the kids and go out for dinner and just do something with just the two of you :)

by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:28 PM

I don't feel a need to do different things, at this point anyway. Maybe when the weather is better.

by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:04 PM

For us, it's more than a rut, I'm afraid. :(

by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:24 PM

 From time to time yes.  Thanks for the tips!

by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:39 PM

Date nights help!

by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:36 AM

In the sex department, yes, otherwise are good.

by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 4:25 AM

Lately we have been trying to squeeze in as much sleep as possible since my DH is working such crazy long hours, but we usually spend time snuggling and enjoying our time together. 

by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:24 AM

I am in a relationship rut with my husband, and it's not a good rut to be in... I am trying to spice things up a little bit, but to no avail at this point in time. 

This relationship is worth fighting for, though, so I will continue to keep trying. Hopefully he starts helping, soon.

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