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Are you in a relationship rut?

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Quiz time: after you get the kids to bed, what do you and your husband do? Do a little pick-up and then crash on the couch? Is it basically the same thing five nights a week at least? Yeah, that's a relationship rut and I have been in one, many of my mommy friends say the same thing. Maybe there is a date night thrown in here or there, but you talk about the same things day in and day out.

You didn't have a rut when you were dating, but things have changed, marriages evolve, so we can't expect it to be just like when we first got together, but that doesn't mean you have to be in a blocked pattern of behavior. All of the relationship gurus say mini changes can really make your relationship fresh and lively again.

-- Do one little thing a day to give a smile to your spouse. Whether you text him a funny joke or shoot him an email to a hilariously insane cat video, just break up each other's day with a grin.

-- Remember why you fell in love. Think about how he attracted you with his wit or his mad basketball skills or his quirky way he would bring you flowers.

-- Do something different. Play Checkers or Scrabble once a week. Go to a concert. Read the same book and talk about it. Something small and simple can liven up anything.

-- Ask something different. Instead of the usual talk about the kids or work, ask something new. Can be anything from thoughts on world events or what he thinks about aliens -- just inject some new conversation topics into your daily communication and see what you find out about each other.

Do you ever feel in a relationship rut with your spouse? How to you shake things up?

© sguler

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:42 AM
That is wonderful!!

Quoting elasmimi:

I like to call it comfortable, after 40 years.

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by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:42 AM
Maybe sometimes we are. We have all been sick so that has not helped.
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by Silver Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 9:22 AM

Great ideas. No rut here.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 9:40 AM


by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:15 AM

what a cute idea

Quoting natesmom1228:

 carpet picnic on Friday nights

by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:16 AM


Thanks. It's after my son goes to bed and we have a glass of wine and cheese and talk. We have done it every Friday since we have been married (unless we are out somewhere).

Quoting aneela:

what a cute idea

Quoting natesmom1228:

 carpet picnic on Friday nights


by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:27 AM

Yikes LOL

Quoting Leelee1008:

Right now I would like to Shake the Crap out of him!

by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:29 AM

We only have 2 kids and no time for each other.  And my DH is studying for an exam, so it feels like he's never here, as he is always studying...sigh.

Quoting sexymamma20:

 Yep we are in a huge rut and I dont see it ending anytime soon. We have 4 children and no time for each other and no one to watch our children. He works alot and when he is home he is sleeping

by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:30 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting la_bella_vita:

 No, not rut here : )

by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:31 AM

That's awesome!

Quoting MamaDearie:

I don't feel like we're in a rut at all. We really value any time we have with each other too much to ever feel like we need to do extra stuff to 'shake things up'.

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