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Are you in a relationship rut?

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Quiz time: after you get the kids to bed, what do you and your husband do? Do a little pick-up and then crash on the couch? Is it basically the same thing five nights a week at least? Yeah, that's a relationship rut and I have been in one, many of my mommy friends say the same thing. Maybe there is a date night thrown in here or there, but you talk about the same things day in and day out.

You didn't have a rut when you were dating, but things have changed, marriages evolve, so we can't expect it to be just like when we first got together, but that doesn't mean you have to be in a blocked pattern of behavior. All of the relationship gurus say mini changes can really make your relationship fresh and lively again.

-- Do one little thing a day to give a smile to your spouse. Whether you text him a funny joke or shoot him an email to a hilariously insane cat video, just break up each other's day with a grin.

-- Remember why you fell in love. Think about how he attracted you with his wit or his mad basketball skills or his quirky way he would bring you flowers.

-- Do something different. Play Checkers or Scrabble once a week. Go to a concert. Read the same book and talk about it. Something small and simple can liven up anything.

-- Ask something different. Instead of the usual talk about the kids or work, ask something new. Can be anything from thoughts on world events or what he thinks about aliens -- just inject some new conversation topics into your daily communication and see what you find out about each other.

Do you ever feel in a relationship rut with your spouse? How to you shake things up?

©iStockphoto.com/ sguler


by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (51-55):
cara124
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:13 AM

Being Single I don't have these issues because I never let me get in a rut LOL.

cara124
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:16 AM

 

are you kids in school ? maybe you could suprise him at work with a lunch date ? .... 

Quoting sexymamma20:

 Yep we are in a huge rut and I dont see it ending anytime soon. We have 4 children and no time for each other and no one to watch our children. He works alot and when he is home he is sleeping


 

sexymamma20
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:09 PM

 Only 2 are in school. Our children are 8, 6, 3, and 1 we try to go to lunch once a month with our 2 youngest to spend some time together

Quoting cara124:

 

are you kids in school ? maybe you could suprise him at work with a lunch date ? .... 

Quoting sexymamma20:

 Yep we are in a huge rut and I dont see it ending anytime soon. We have 4 children and no time for each other and no one to watch our children. He works alot and when he is home he is sleeping

 

 

 

Charizma77
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:00 PM

I don't think we are but thanks for the tips :)

HolisticMama
by New Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:52 PM

My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year.  That's when our rut began.  I have kids from my previous marriage.  The weekends the kids are gone we stay home all weekend bored out of my mind.  I've told him we should use the time to reconnect and he told me to suggest something.  I do suggest things but am tired of always taking the lead.  I don't think he cares enough about our relationship. 

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