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Jealousy and envy: How do you deal with them?

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM
  • 44 Replies

Jealousy aka "the green-eyed monster" according to Willy Shakespeare. It takes over all of us at some point, that feeling that can creep in, the suspicion that someone you love may love someone else more, that bit of possessiveness of a relationship or where you stand in someone's eyes.

Jealousy is not to be confused with envy, its sister emotion. Envy feels like jealousy...and jealousy feels like envy, but envy is when you see what someone has (success, money, more-toned legs) and get that discontented feeling. I have a good friend, Aidan -- fellow mom and an awesome writer -- and she wrote about this subject last week on her blog Ivy League Insecurities. How a little envy can actually be a good thing, a motivator, a kick in the tush, so to speak....hmmm...she always makes good points.

And jealousy? I think I have a tendency to be more envious than jealous, but I've had my fair share of jealous moments. Not as much now that I'm married, but definitely growing up with boyfriends.

Defeating jealousy and banging back those suspicious feelings is all about trust and remembering things of which you can be certain of in a relationship (though we all know with this life, not many things are certain). Having confidence in trust is tough for many -- after being hurt for whatever reason, that trust muscle is a tad worn.

Random side note, friends: did you know sibling rivalry is basically a form of jealousy. They are vying and arguing over their relationship and status within the family...the new big brother wanting more time with Mom now that the baby sister has arrived...yup, he's jealous. That is why so many experts say the best way to help ease sibling rivalry is to give good one-on-one time with each kiddo, so they can feel confident in their trust of that relationship.

Just random musings on this stuff today. So, which one are you more: jealous or envious? How do you deal with those emotions?

Š sdominick          

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:06 AM

I am not a jealous person.  I'm always happy for someone to do well.  It doesn't mean that I don't wish for things for myself but I don't get upset with the ones who have more or do more than me.  It's just not in my nature.

by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:59 AM
Back in the day I was a very jealous person, I'm not sure how I got over it.
Lol it's odd I just woke one day and decided I wasn't going to care and that's that:)
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:08 AM

I don't.  These things are not my style.  There is no reason for me to be jealouse or envious of anyone because I am who I am for a reason.  There is no one else like me.  Plus I don't want to waste my time. 

by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:13 AM

I don't think I'm either one... I'm happy being who & what I am.... I think if you waste your day/time with these things then it just eats at your self confidence and thats never a good thing... and I all ways try to spend one on one time with the kids doing something they enjoy or just sitting on the couch watching their favorite show and cuddling.

by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:23 AM

I'm not really either one.  I've accepted that this is my life and I'm happy with it so I can also be happy for others that have what I don't.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:57 AM

I tend to feel jealous of people's relationships with others the most.  I want to be a good friend with someone - as much as someone else is with that person.  I tend to feel jealous when I realize that two acquaintances are out having fun together & I wasn't invited.  Not that I necessarily should have been, they aren't purposely excluding me or being mean.  I just wish I was along.

I need to reach out more so people realize I want to do & like to do whatever it is they are doing.  HOpefully they think I'm fun, too.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:01 AM

I'm not either.

by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:06 AM

Good sibling rivalry tip. I don't think I'm the jealous or envious type. I just don't think like that.

by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:09 AM

I think I'm more jealous than envious. I'm a simple gal, don't need all those fancy things to make me happy. As for the jealousy, well you are right, trust helps it, but that doesn't mean the feelings don't rear their ugly head once in a while.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:17 AM

I dont think I am either, I suppose through my life I have been both a time or two but I just dont see a point in it anymore

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