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Jealousy and envy: How do you deal with them?

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Jealousy aka "the green-eyed monster" according to Willy Shakespeare. It takes over all of us at some point, that feeling that can creep in, the suspicion that someone you love may love someone else more, that bit of possessiveness of a relationship or where you stand in someone's eyes.

Jealousy is not to be confused with envy, its sister emotion. Envy feels like jealousy...and jealousy feels like envy, but envy is when you see what someone has (success, money, more-toned legs) and get that discontented feeling. I have a good friend, Aidan -- fellow mom and an awesome writer -- and she wrote about this subject last week on her blog Ivy League Insecurities. How a little envy can actually be a good thing, a motivator, a kick in the tush, so to speak....hmmm...she always makes good points.

And jealousy? I think I have a tendency to be more envious than jealous, but I've had my fair share of jealous moments. Not as much now that I'm married, but definitely growing up with boyfriends.

Defeating jealousy and banging back those suspicious feelings is all about trust and remembering things of which you can be certain of in a relationship (though we all know with this life, not many things are certain). Having confidence in trust is tough for many -- after being hurt for whatever reason, that trust muscle is a tad worn.

Random side note, friends: did you know sibling rivalry is basically a form of jealousy. They are vying and arguing over their relationship and status within the family...the new big brother wanting more time with Mom now that the baby sister has arrived...yup, he's jealous. That is why so many experts say the best way to help ease sibling rivalry is to give good one-on-one time with each kiddo, so they can feel confident in their trust of that relationship.

Just random musings on this stuff today. So, which one are you more: jealous or envious? How do you deal with those emotions?

©iStockphoto.com/ sdominick          


by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (41-44):
Bmat
by Bronze Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 11:58 AM

If either of these arises I count my own blessings. :)

mrswillie
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:07 PM

I'm not a jealous person.

MistressMinerva
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:19 AM

I'm not a jealous or envious person. Never have been.

SweetLuci
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 7:56 PM

 I've been envious, and it makes me work hard to get what I'm envious of. I've always felt very grateful for what I have in my life. As an adult,  I don't remember ever being jealous.

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