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Who comes first?

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 12:00 AM
  • 46 Replies

You love your spouse. You do. An unbelievable love...and before you had kids, you thought that was the most you could love anybody, right? And then Kiddo (or Kiddos) entered the picture...and that heart of yours became infused with another kind of love, one you could never have imagined until, well, you became a mom.

So, who comes first - the kids or your spouse? Well, it's tough. And it isn't about love at all, is it? Most of the time, it's a practical element of Life. When the kids are small, they kind of "win" by just the mere fact they can't do many things for themselves. And as they get older, well, checking in and being a part of their lives is huge. It seems to ebb and flow, no? Sometimes the kids will totally take the lead and, other times, nights, moments, your spouse will.

I think at the heart of it, as a caring couple, you realize now that when you have kids, they -- 99% of the time -- will come first. And that is okay to admit, as you had your time together, to build a relationship where both of you were primo numbero one. But (there is always a but), there is something to be said for making sure we show our kids how relationships works and that placing your relationship as a priority, no matter how busy you are, is ohsosuper healthy and important to do.

Well, what do you think -- who comes first: the kids or your spouse?

©iStockphoto.com/ Linda Yolanda  


by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bhwrn1
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 5:37 AM

kids for me, spouse would say the same

monkeybelle83
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 5:41 AM
My marriage. My husband agrees.
Janet
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:11 AM

 I have to say my kids.

SarahSuzyQ
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:11 AM
I really don't feel like this is a competition. I think we need to have a strong marriage in order to be good parents, but there usually isn't a conflict between the two.
elasmimi
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:14 AM

I have never really had to choose. We are united in wanting what is best for our child, but also very much in love, so we always make time for each other. We are, first and foremost, best friends.

sara_7106
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:29 AM
I agree


Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

I really don't feel like this is a competition. I think we need to have a strong marriage in order to be good parents, but there usually isn't a conflict between the two.

othermom
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:40 AM

Kids for most things, but sometimes my husband does come first

goddess99
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:45 AM

My dd came first and comes first. If you asked my dh, he would also say my dd comes before me.

GwenMB
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:56 AM

Spouse should come first.  Not at the detriment of the kids, but you need to make your spouse a priority.

arpazia
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 10:00 AM
My son, you mean like if I had to save one? Yea, my kid. They're on different levels.
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