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You love your spouse. You do. An unbelievable love...and before you had kids, you thought that was the most you could love anybody, right? And then Kiddo (or Kiddos) entered the picture...and that heart of yours became infused with another kind of love, one you could never have imagined until, well, you became a mom.

So, who comes first - the kids or your spouse? Well, it's tough. And it isn't about love at all, is it? Most of the time, it's a practical element of Life. When the kids are small, they kind of "win" by just the mere fact they can't do many things for themselves. And as they get older, well, checking in and being a part of their lives is huge. It seems to ebb and flow, no? Sometimes the kids will totally take the lead and, other times, nights, moments, your spouse will.

I think at the heart of it, as a caring couple, you realize now that when you have kids, they -- 99% of the time -- will come first. And that is okay to admit, as you had your time together, to build a relationship where both of you were primo numbero one. But (there is always a but), there is something to be said for making sure we show our kids how relationships works and that placing your relationship as a priority, no matter how busy you are, is ohsosuper healthy and important to do.

Well, what do you think -- who comes first: the kids or your spouse?

©iStockphoto.com/ Linda Yolanda  


by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (41-46):
copperswifey
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 3:08 PM

 This is the way I feel too! :)


Quoting elasmimi:

I have never really had to choose. We are united in wanting what is best for our child, but also very much in love, so we always make time for each other. We are, first and foremost, best friends.


 

funhappymom
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 3:47 PM

My husband comes before my kids.


funhappymom
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 3:50 PM


Quoting GwenMB:

Spouse should come first.  Not at the detriment of the kids, but you need to make your spouse a priority.

I totally agree!

MamaBear2cubs
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 7:59 AM

Very interesting replies. Not what I expected to see.

countrygirlkat
by Silver Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:10 PM
I think this is very well put. That is how we are too.
Quoting elasmimi:

I have never really had to choose. We are united in wanting what is best for our child, but also very much in love, so we always make time for each other. We are, first and foremost, best friends.

tinysmom160
by Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:41 PM

The kids all the way

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