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A great tip for every woman?

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In her book Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, Sheryl Sandberg offers up a few, quite compelling bits of advice for those women who want to succeed...many take these as tips only for climbing the business ladder, but actually there is one that can be carried over to, well, life. (One tip she doesn't touch on is the importance of a fabulous hairstyle that looks great no matter the weather, but I digress.)

Among other tidbits, she says one of the most important career decisions a woman can make is her partner, whom she marries, that person she wants to walk this life path with. She has a whole chapter on it, titled "Make Your Partner a Real Partner." Sandberg writes: "I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is. I don't know of a single woman in a leadership position whose life partner is not fully -- and I mean fully -- supportive of her career."

I think this goes for more than just succeeding in business or being a powerful career woman, I think this goes for being successful in life, in motherhood, in growing into the person you want to be - you need a partner that is committed, supportive, and encourages you. One that is a full-on, active player in the marriage and the parenting. It's huge, it's essential, it's as vital as a great haircut...I admit I haven't found that elusive great haircut, but I did make a great choice in my partner.

Have you read Lean In? What do you think about the importance of a good partner?

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by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (61-70):
ms-superwoman
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:26 AM

That's sad.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:


Quoting ms-superwoman:

Why would someone be with someon who doesn't support them?

You see it all the time here. I've heard women on here say things like "DH says I'm too stupid to go back to school", "DH won't watch the kids so I can go back to school"...etc.


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alexsmomaubrys2
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this

It really is. I couldn't be in a relationship like that. DH is incredibly supportive, even changed his work schedule around so he went in earlier and came home earlier to get the kids off the bus because 2 days a week my classes ran late and I couldn't be home to do it.

Quoting ms-superwoman:

That's sad.

Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:


Quoting ms-superwoman:

Why would someone be with someon who doesn't support them?

You see it all the time here. I've heard women on here say things like "DH says I'm too stupid to go back to school", "DH won't watch the kids so I can go back to school"...etc.



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la_bella_vita
by Silver Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 9:09 AM

 This is the first I have heard of this book.

Bebemada
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 7:56 PM

Ok whatever she says in the book ...she got lucky ...sometimes people change especially when the baby comes ...really you can't put your hand on fire for anybody ....my husband is a wonderfull father and husband but I always have to push him from behind to help me in the house...

AmosFarkle
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:01 PM

Self-help books can be good.  Or they can be nonsense.  This one doesn't strike me as being something I would read.

Wendy1023
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:21 PM
I'll be picking up the book from Amazon as it sounds like a great read. At the age of 42 I have yet to be married or have kids, but after a not so good relationship, the believe in that being supportive is important for both men and women. Men should be secure with a successful career woman.
conweis
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:13 PM
A supportive partner goes a long way
kysmama08
by Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 8:25 AM

Never read the book but I do know that I have my fiance's support in everything I do, just as he has mine. We have a very equal partnership.

NearSeattleMom
by Member on May. 2, 2013 at 12:57 AM

I suppose that could be true to some extent . . . but then I think of certain people I know who married certain people who were obviously losers from the start.  That's what I'm talking about.  If you choose a loser with hopes that he'll change, you will be sorely disappointed most every time.

Quoting LindaClement:

I think it's not possible to see that far in advance.

Things happen to people, that change what they think about the world, re-order their priorities and shift their behaviour. If it were possible to know in advance that they guy who says 'I'll be there for you' will, definitely and for sure 'be there for you' we'd have a very, very different kind of legal system.

Quoting NearSeattleMom:


Quoting LindaClement:

I think the premise is silly.

Since no one has the slightest idea how they will really live through anything at all, it is absolutely impossible to be able to tell back then if s/he is going to be 'committed, supportive and encouraging' in the moments you need them to be...

I think it's far more important to BE a good partner than to 'pick' one. At least it's something that is within anyone's real scope of personal power...

You don't think it's possible to choose a good partner?  I don't think people change the essence of who they are all that much . . .



LindaClement
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2013 at 7:24 PM

Hoping someone will change at all is a variety of crazy that I've never understood. How much frustration does someone want in their lives, if the person they've chosen to spend their lives is someone they've never actually liked? 

So weird.

Quoting NearSeattleMom:

I suppose that could be true to some extent . . . but then I think of certain people I know who married certain people who were obviously losers from the start.  That's what I'm talking about.  If you choose a loser with hopes that he'll change, you will be sorely disappointed most every time.

Quoting LindaClement:

I think it's not possible to see that far in advance.

Things happen to people, that change what they think about the world, re-order their priorities and shift their behaviour. If it were possible to know in advance that they guy who says 'I'll be there for you' will, definitely and for sure 'be there for you' we'd have a very, very different kind of legal system.

Quoting NearSeattleMom:


Quoting LindaClement:

I think the premise is silly.

Since no one has the slightest idea how they will really live through anything at all, it is absolutely impossible to be able to tell back then if s/he is going to be 'committed, supportive and encouraging' in the moments you need them to be...

I think it's far more important to BE a good partner than to 'pick' one. At least it's something that is within anyone's real scope of personal power...

You don't think it's possible to choose a good partner?  I don't think people change the essence of who they are all that much . . .




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