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My BFF is dating a man in prison, he's getting out soon

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My best friend of more than 10 years has a boyfriend in prison. They started out as pen pals and quickly "fell in love." He was convicted of stealing a car. He will be released from prison soon, after completing his 5-year sentence, and plans on moving in with her.
Neither my husband nor I want to get to know this man, visit him in their home or entertain him in ours. My husband is adamant about never socializing with them.
I care deeply for my friend and want her to be happy, but I think she's making a huge mistake. How can I continue this friendship?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 13, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Replies (221-221):
by Anonymous 2 on May. 25, 2013 at 10:09 AM

Not only do I know losers who never cleaned up, I know even more people who have had addictions and have overcome them because they CHOSE to.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

Well youre obviously not an addict, nor do you know one personally. OR you do and youve never comes to terms with it or learned about its reality, therefore you hold a grudge against them. Youre being completely naive.

Quoting Anonymous:

To me it is, the first step you take is getting away from everyone you know that still has that lifestyle because they will just drag you back down, even if they're family.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

You're right about the choices. But that's why I mentioned being an addict because addiction is far more complex than just being a thief to be a thief. If this guy is just a thief for the sake of being a thief, he probably didnt learn anything while locked up. BUT I believe people CAN change. If he's an addict than he more than likely has had a lot of time to think and change his ways, but its not as simple as just stopping using when you're in the real world.

Quoting Anonymous:

Stealing to support your family out of desperation is one thing, doing it for kicks or to support a habit is another. I'm glad you turned your life around, I have a lot of respect for people who do, but people have to want to change in order to do so. In the end, it always comes down to a matter of choice, you either choose to be an addict/thief/whatever or you choose to have a life.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

Eh I used to feel the same too, about once one always one, but now I know differently because I was once a "criminal" because of my drug addiction, and I'm far from that person now. That was never me to begin with. Some people you're right are true criminals and always will be. But them there's great people who made really bad mistakes because of certain circumstances (mine being addiction, some women become thieves to support their kids, some men steal cars to support their fam, whatever.. Just giving examples) but then become the REAL person they always were, once rehabilitated. I didnt go to prison but did a few runs in county jail and I tell ya, not a single chick in there reminded me of someone I'd hang out with on IRL.. But if I would've kept getting in trouble I would've ended up just like them..

Hopefully OPs friends BF is a changed man. It is possible if you're not a thief at heart

Quoting Anonymous:

I used to think everyone deserves a second chance and everyone deserves to be loved, but from my personal experience, once a criminal, always a criminal. They can get their second chance with someone else, I don't trust them, good luck with your friend.

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