Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My sister is coming to visit with her girlfriend...

Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies

My sister is coming for a visit this summer. She is bringing her girlfriend with and wants to stay at our house-in the same room.

We have 3 impressionable children under 10 and we're not comfortable with it. We are understanding of her lifestyle even though we don't agree with it. They understand that their aunt has a friend and they get along with them both really well but they don't understand the concept of them being romatically involved.

We wouldn't be comfortable with the sleeping arrangements even if it was a boyfriend she was bringing instead of a girlfriend. We do realize that living with your boyfriend/girlfriend is mainstream now but we don't want our kids exposed to it. We are a bit old fashioned, I guess you could say.

We have tried to tell her that she can stay here but they'd have to spend the night separately and she says no. We also suggested a hotel room instead but she doesn't want to spend the money.

What do you think? Should we just cave and allow it or should we stick to our guns?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Platinum Member on May. 23, 2013 at 11:52 AM
2 moms liked this
She follows your rules or doesn't come. It isn't like you are doing it because she is gay. It would be the same if she had a bf. No sharing a room at night.
by Bronze Member on May. 23, 2013 at 11:58 AM

She should respect your wishes for your children.

by New Member on May. 23, 2013 at 12:07 PM
2 moms liked this

 How old is your sister? 

Will your kids really be exposed to anything?

by Platinum Member on May. 23, 2013 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this

 If you do not want your children thinking it is okay to be sleeping in the same bed before marriage stick to your guns. They are your children and you are responsible for giving them your values. I would allow it in my home, however I think differently about this. Good luck with your sister. :)

by on May. 23, 2013 at 2:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I think that you should stick to your guns. If you would have the same request if she was bringing a bf instead of a gf, then it's not about them being lesbians and don't let them turn it into that. You don't have to let them stay, that is a nice thing you are extending to them, and it would be nice if they were respectful of your wishes regarding sleeping arrangements. If it was me, I'd let them know they are welcome to stay if they can sleep separately and if they don't want to do that then that's their choice, and they can get a hotel room. If they don't want to spend the money that 's fine, but that's their choice. It's not like you have uninvited them or told them they can't stay. There is nothing wrong with having house rules.

by on May. 23, 2013 at 3:59 PM

what if one of them slept on the couch?

Take Some *Time *Out for You, Join our Friendly/Supportive group :)
Yesterday at 11:32 PM
Time Out For You Group - CafeMom

Need some Time for You? Feeling stressed? Kick back, relax & take a break. If you're a woman who just wants to have fun, here's the place :)

by on May. 23, 2013 at 4:02 PM

I do agree with the others,
Regardless if it's a woman or man .. she follows your rules or finds eleswhere to stay :)

by Gold Member on May. 23, 2013 at 5:10 PM

We had this issue with my BIL last summer and his fiance. My husband was not willing to stick to his guns, and it really ended up causing a lot of resentment within our family... Relationships are still damaged over boundaries not being respected, etc.

No matter what your feeling is on same-sex relationships, it sounds like your kids will be exposed to that this summer. After all, even if they don't stay together at your home, they ARE romantically involved. I imagine that will become clear when spending face-to-face time with them. So that's something to think about, because kids notice things that aren't "as expected" and they do ask questions.

by on May. 23, 2013 at 5:21 PM

I think it's your house and rules. If, you're kind enough to open your door to your sister,she should be kind and mannerable to accept your rules. In my house,I would not feel comfortable with an unmarried couple sleeping together in my home,sorry call me old-fashioned.

by Anonymous 2 on May. 23, 2013 at 8:07 PM

It is your house, stick with your guns. She has the choice to sleep in separate rooms or pay money to stay in a hotel to sleep in the same room. If she does not want any of those options she does have the choice of not going. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN