Advertisement
Cafemom and Target Present: Mad Life
Helping today’s parents improve their relationships, feel better about themselves and raise happy, health kids.

The New Direction for Men

Posted by   + Show Post

We touched on it a bit yesterday, but the whole men in decline issue makes me think about one thing. Expectations we make for ourselves, for our lives. We all do it to some extent, form a picture of what we want/should/need to be, what our lives should "look" like in order to feel happy, to feel successful.

This is where I think men are really having a hard time with this decline, this changing of their roles. It wasn't what is "usually" expected. It wasn't what Life, what men in their lives are "supposed" to do. And that mental shift is tough to swallow. I don't do well with change, I play certain scenarios in my brain about Life, what may or may not or should happen. I try not to, I'm aiming to be better at it, but it is hard. Really hard.

How does anyone cope with that turn in the road of Life? Well, you can dig in your heels and refuse, you can turn around and run the other way, you can just stop all together...all of these are pretty strong options, but not healthy ones. Exploring that new world, that new role that he was forced into may be rough, but a few tiny steps in that direction could be all it takes to become much more comfortable with this Brave New Man World.

In any situation where a spouse is struggling, the partner can play a big part in how this succeeds or not. Talking about it, not pushing, recognizing how tough it is, pointing out aspects of the new road that could be good things. It is so easy to fall into looking at the negative, helping to keep his eyes on some positive elements to this new world he's been thrown in can make a big difference.

Are any of the guys in your life in decline? Have they made a big switch that has been tough to do?

©iStockphoto.com/ marekuliasz

by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Replies (51-54):
Miranda1127
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:08 PM
I myself am a Sahm. But I would hardly consider our life choices traditional. We sat down, calculated, and came to the mutual conclusion that this is what made the most sense. It wasn't a....your a woman I'm a man decision. None of our decisions are, I can't imagine our gender ever being a deciding factor for any of our decisions.....other than who is carrying the babies (but that's not really a choice now is it).

I also agree that this topic is odd b/c its kind of out of thin air. I mean, was their s major national media event I missed? Aside from gay marriage news I can't think of anything gender related in the media. And gay marriages wouldn't really prompt this topic now would it? Would it? Idk....odd.


Quoting GwenMB:

I agree.  I find this topic odd, esp since I can't tell what is inspiring it.

I know plenty of men who have the traditional role of breadwinner, and their wives are SAHMs.  But the couple would have decided together that this is how they want to do things.

Quoting Miranda1127:

 What an odd concept. gender roles have been shifting since ....well when my grandmother was younger. It's nothing new, it's certainly not a swift switch. My grandpop was rather traditional, my dad not so much, and dh even less, my son....he'll probably be even closer to the neutral line. W/ each generation it seems like small changes are being made to allow people of any gender to live how they see fit. The lines become less ridged and more blended. Anyway...I can't think of any man in todays adult generation that actually struggles w/this gradual switch.


TigerofMu
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:52 PM

No guys in my life are in decline.

Wish2Be
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I just became a SAHM a little less than a year ago...so I think DH has taken a step up from what he did before....when we were both working...we made close to the same amount hourly... of course his job allowed overtime and mine rarely did, so in the end he had more money annually..

chrissydan
by Gold Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 12:23 AM
Nope not here
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)