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Is It OK to Secretly Snoop on Our Kids? (Part 2)

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We're always scared about what our kids might be sharing on social media and whether they're making healthy choices when we're not around. In this episode, Parenting Expert and Life Coach Harriet Cole shows us how social media can be a useful tool for parents, even when our kids de-friend us!

by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 8:51 AM
Replies (11-20):
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 2:01 PM
Quoting Miranda1127:

 I agree w/ being open about 'I'm the parent, I make the final decisions'

I agree!
by Silver Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 2:46 PM

My dd has a laptop and I get weekly emails that show me every site she was on, every site she tried that was blocked, every search, even partial words. Plus we look through her laptop and get all her passwords. She knows we do this, no secrets here.

by Silver Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 3:36 PM

I think being open about it is best. And I *am* that aunt--monitoring my nieces' posts!

by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 6:52 PM

Good to know!  my daughter is 14 now and just started high sc hool.

Quoting Anonymous:

 My daughter is 21 now.  She is my only child and both my husband and I were well into our 30's when I had her.  Maybe that is why I was so native and trusted her so completely to follow the rules.  The first month she started high school she "fell in love."  She wasn't allowed to date till she was 16.  She had a small group of 4 close girlfriends and they were all allowed to.  I loosened my rules a bit.  To make a long story short.  My daughters personality changed some and she wasn't forthcoming any longer. When her best friends stayed over one night I heard her asking my daughter if they could get the screen off her bedroom window and sneak out as there was a party with lots of alcohol that night.  They were 14!! 

We only had one shared computer and  I saw a article in Good Housekeeping about a download called PC Tattletale for $50.  It was the single best $50 I ever spent and I would do it again in a minute.  I found out my daughters friends were all involved in lots of drinking and random sex with boys at school.  Since I checked out every sleep over my daughter said she was going to, she as yet had not gotten involved in these activities, but I found out they were coming up with all sorts of plans/ways for her to lie and get away with it.  I would never in a million yrs thought my daughter would go along with these things and or even want to.  But, she was always a follower and wanted to be with the "popular" group.  I firmly believe without this snooping device I would have be stupid enough to fall for some of these things and she would have been involved with all sorts of things.  I also found by this download her bf was pressuring her big time for sex and I could tell by her replies she was feeling the pressure and beginning to cave.

By knowing ahead of time what was really being planned when my daughter or her friends were saying they were going somewhere I could tell my daugther she either couldn't go or that she had to be home at a certain time.  I totally stopped her from going to this one friends house since I found out by reading these messages the parents said they stayed home, but they did not and there was NO supervision.  I also found out when she was 16 and finally allowed to date (the same guy by the way) his parents allowed them to spend lots of time in his basement bedroom unsupervised.  I was able to plan some discussions with her about different peer pressures that I would not have known she was dealing with.

  I am totally for snooping and monitoring our teens in any way a parent can.  Eighteen comes soon enough and they can move out and have all the privacy they want!

by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 10:32 PM

So far my kids are too young for social media, but I will keep an eye on them and also teach them what can happen online if they are not careful.  I think I would invest in some kind of app that can let me see everything they are doing.  

by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 12:20 AM

My son will be 3 next month and I monitor everything when he's using the iPad 

by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 12:38 AM
1 mom liked this
This. Nothing about the Internet is private, so it doesn't really count as snooping anyway

Quoting la_bella_vita:

 I prefer to not do things secretly. I look with them present.

by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:54 AM

My kids are not on social media yet.  My oldest is 10 and doesn't have any of the "gadgets" her friends have.  She only uses my computer when I'm around and only goes on approved websites.

by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 7:04 AM

Mine knew I was looking 

by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 7:12 AM
I will snoop if they give me a reason to.
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