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Is It OK to Secretly Snoop on Our Kids? (Part 2)

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We're always scared about what our kids might be sharing on social media and whether they're making healthy choices when we're not around. In this episode, Parenting Expert and Life Coach Harriet Cole shows us how social media can be a useful tool for parents, even when our kids de-friend us!




by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 8:51 AM
Replies (31-40):
louannwilkins
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 8:34 PM

I always would look  and pretty often.  I still feel if they are not adults it is my job to make sure they are safe

Diosark
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 10:26 PM
As long as I am taking care of them, providing for their every need, yes, I need to know what they are doing. Teenagers are usually immature (although they think that they know everything) and their judgment is impaired. I have to supervise and guide them so I need to know what they are doing.
Kaci
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 10:28 PM
Ditto

Quoting Miranda1127:

 I agree w/ being open about 'I'm the parent, I make the final decisions'

Kaci
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 10:28 PM
Exactly!

Quoting Diosark: As long as I am taking care of them, providing for their every need, yes, I need to know what they are doing. Teenagers are usually immature (although they think that they know everything) and their judgment is impaired. I have to supervise and guide them so I need to know what they are doing.
countrygirlkat
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 10:46 PM

Thank you for sharing this.  My kids are still very young but knowing that keeping tabs on them closely and tracking them still helps makes me want to make sure I do this as well. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 My daughter is 21 now.  She is my only child and both my husband and I were well into our 30's when I had her.  Maybe that is why I was so native and trusted her so completely to follow the rules.  The first month she started high school she "fell in love."  She wasn't allowed to date till she was 16.  She had a small group of 4 close girlfriends and they were all allowed to.  I loosened my rules a bit.  To make a long story short.  My daughters personality changed some and she wasn't forthcoming any longer. When her best friends stayed over one night I heard her asking my daughter if they could get the screen off her bedroom window and sneak out as there was a party with lots of alcohol that night.  They were 14!! 

We only had one shared computer and  I saw a article in Good Housekeeping about a download called PC Tattletale for $50.  It was the single best $50 I ever spent and I would do it again in a minute.  I found out my daughters friends were all involved in lots of drinking and random sex with boys at school.  Since I checked out every sleep over my daughter said she was going to, she as yet had not gotten involved in these activities, but I found out they were coming up with all sorts of plans/ways for her to lie and get away with it.  I would never in a million yrs thought my daughter would go along with these things and or even want to.  But, she was always a follower and wanted to be with the "popular" group.  I firmly believe without this snooping device I would have be stupid enough to fall for some of these things and she would have been involved with all sorts of things.  I also found by this download her bf was pressuring her big time for sex and I could tell by her replies she was feeling the pressure and beginning to cave.

By knowing ahead of time what was really being planned when my daughter or her friends were saying they were going somewhere I could tell my daugther she either couldn't go or that she had to be home at a certain time.  I totally stopped her from going to this one friends house since I found out by reading these messages the parents said they stayed home, but they did not and there was NO supervision.  I also found out when she was 16 and finally allowed to date (the same guy by the way) his parents allowed them to spend lots of time in his basement bedroom unsupervised.  I was able to plan some discussions with her about different peer pressures that I would not have known she was dealing with.

  I am totally for snooping and monitoring our teens in any way a parent can.  Eighteen comes soon enough and they can move out and have all the privacy they want!


conweis
by Platinum Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 10:04 AM
I wojldn't allow my child to have a phone unless they were in a lot of extra curriculars or could pay for their own phone. I don't have a prolem with snooping. My kids were om a kids' social site but neither liked it. My kds are more into games. That being said the oldest is only 10
copperswifey
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2014 at 12:57 AM

I think so if it means it will keep them safe :)

Wish2Be
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2014 at 11:31 AM

I honestly think its fine to snoop...its part of protecting them and keeping them out of trouble. Its our job. :)

strictmomhere
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2014 at 5:21 PM
Ii know my kids pass codes they know i check there stuff out:)
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Bubbie0809
by on Jan. 25, 2014 at 5:37 PM
I don't think I will sneak, I will look right when they can see me do it
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