We see the article titles like this all the time: "The secret to a happy marriage is ______". Various things fill that blank, prompted by studies and polls. Separate bedrooms, communication, honesty, date nights, joint bank accounts, cuddling. Some of my favorite studies are those that come up with different answers for men and women that are totally at odds, like when women need communication and men need silence.
I think one of the main secrets to a happy marriage is admitting it isn't always a happy marriage. I know, a little odd, but when you stop thinking that every day, you will wake up and see rainbows and stars hovering around your spouse, I promise you, you will have a happier marriage.
Let's face it: reality is that you are together for the long haul. Let's say 65 years. That's over 23,725 days, folks. I am 99.999999999% positive you will not like your spouse for 23,725 days straight. You will love him, but you won't like him...and, you betcha, he won't like you some days. Like Joanie says in the video, sometimes she doesn't like her spouse. It doesn't work like that...and I agree.
I'm not saying you will hate each other, but there will be days, weeks even, that you just won't be as into him. You may even really not like him. He will have days and weeks where he really will not want to deal with you. And all of that is okay. It's normal...so once you realize this, and figure out, "Hey, that is okay," then you can think about what you can do to get that "like feeling" back.
And what helps is, at the core, believing in your relationship and, yes, being good friends as well as intimate partners...and definitely making each other laugh. That's a huge plus. On those days when I'm not "so into" my husband, yet he makes me laugh? It goes a long way to getting back into "like" mode.
When do you NOT like your husband?