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What's Your Intimacy IQ?

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Do you and your partner laugh together enough? Do you share absolutely everything or do you save some room for private thoughts? Sex and Relationship Expert Ian Kerner in here to see whether Andrew, Chuck, Joanie AND their spouses make the grade!


by on Feb. 12, 2014 at 11:27 AM
Replies (41-50):
countrygirlkat
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 10:32 PM

It seemed the things he was talking about were more surface things and not about really connecting.  Sex is wonderful but people can have sex and not be really intament.  People can laugh with a person and not be really intament.  To me it is looking at that person and knowing that if you had to choose only one person to ever laugh with again, to ever have sex with again, to every reveal secrets to again, you would choose that person without hesitation. 

kerryket
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 11:32 PM
We try to laugh and enjoy time together, time apart is just as important as well as some privacy, that's one thing I'm thankful for, we give each other that kind of space to breathe.
kerryket
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 11:36 PM
That sounds familiar, I'm more morbid, but he's catching up, the kids are horrid.

Quoting jazi1105: We do laugh together a lot...we share a somewhat morbid sense of humor lol
kerryket
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Surface is right, a lot like Linda was writing.

Quoting countrygirlkat:

It seemed the things he was talking about were more surface things and not about really connecting.  Sex is wonderful but people can have sex and not be really intament.  People can laugh with a person and not be really intament.  To me it is looking at that person and knowing that if you had to choose only one person to ever laugh with again, to ever have sex with again, to every reveal secrets to again, you would choose that person without hesitation. 

PennOhioBabe
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 11:52 PM
Interesting :)
RobynS
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:36 AM

Thanks. I've tried to fix it, but it takes two and he just doesn't have relationship skills at ALL. He wants to ignore the problem and hope it goes away. *sigh*

Quoting countrygirlkat:

I am sorry to hear that.  Hugs.  I hpe things get better for you.

Quoting RobynS:

we don't really do any of those things together any more. We are SO far apart. :/



Wish2Be
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Yesterday at 10:01 PM
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 11:13 AM

I was hoping they would tell scores :)

I think Chuck would win...

Wish2Be
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Yesterday at 10:01 PM
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 11:15 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with most of this....but I feel that intimacy is a togetherness no matter how you dice it.  I think that you need to somehow reach for each other as often as possible...whether its just engaging in a conversation to get your opinion....sitting next to each other... just being in ones personal space in a comforting type of way.

Quoting countrygirlkat:

It seemed the things he was talking about were more surface things and not about really connecting.  Sex is wonderful but people can have sex and not be really intament.  People can laugh with a person and not be really intament.  To me it is looking at that person and knowing that if you had to choose only one person to ever laugh with again, to ever have sex with again, to every reveal secrets to again, you would choose that person without hesitation. 


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RobynS
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 2:14 PM

good points! :)

Quoting LindaClement:

I actually don't really agree with the items the 'expert' picked out as the key issues.

I don't think whether or not you fantasize about others is related to intimacy, anymore than how many times a week you're having at it... there are far more important aspects of mutual vulnerability and trust than gettin' it on, and who you're thinking about when you think about it.

How much you laugh together is a personality type issue --again, not what I think of as intimacy.

This is all kind of surfacy stuff, I don't think touches what real intimacy involves.


RobynS
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 2:17 PM
1 mom liked this

So true! I do think humor/laughter is important, but I definitely have acquaintainces that I can laugh with... it doesn't always mean intimacy.

Quoting countrygirlkat:

It seemed the things he was talking about were more surface things and not about really connecting.  Sex is wonderful but people can have sex and not be really intament.  People can laugh with a person and not be really intament.  To me it is looking at that person and knowing that if you had to choose only one person to ever laugh with again, to ever have sex with again, to every reveal secrets to again, you would choose that person without hesitation. 


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